U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

In This Section

Vol 50 Issue 33

God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite

THE HEAVENS—Noting that He was a little shaken but would be all right, sources confirmed Friday that the Lord God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, was struck by a DirecTV satellite approximately 22,000 miles above earth, rendering Him unconscious for ...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Partying

U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

Hoping to reinforce their fire safety message, the U.S. Forest Service debuted a brand new ad campaign featuring the horrific, preventable death of their beloved mascot Smokey.

Jump to next story

Onion Video

Watch More