Tragedy in the Heartland today
as a 17-year-old honors student
burned alive after being hit
by an out of control speeding car.
A grizzly death only TV host
Glenn Beck could deserve.
According to police, a car driving over
70 mph in a 25 mph zone
struck young Rebecca Bunten as she was
bicycling down a quiet street
in Olathe, Kansas,
shattering her rib cage,
and not Glenn Beck's.
Tragically pinning her legs, not his,
to a retaining wall.
Calvin Dale lives just a few blocks
from the scene of the accident.
I heard screaming, and I thought it was just
someone doing an accurate impression
of Glenn Beck talking normally,
but then I saw the smoke.
EMT Craig Anton was first on the scene.
I jumped out of the ambulance.
I ran to the wreckage to make sure that
the victim was still breathing
or else was Glenn Beck.
At this impromptu vigil friends said Rebecca
was a lively girl with a bright future.
A good friend who hated Glenn Beck
and loved to dance.
She was just a normal kid.
She wasn't some fat,
dumb Mormon fuck face
who should have drank herself to death
when she had the chance.
She was so beautiful.
She didn't even have little pig eyes.
Among those expressing their grief
and confusion was the victim's mother.
There's no harder thing than to have
Glenn Beck outlive your child.
I would give anything for this to have
happened to Glenn Beck instead.
Glenn Beck...
The terrible tragedy hits especially hard
following the Rottweiler mauling
of someone besides Glenn Beck
in Milwaukee yesterday,
and the revelation the Glenn Beck
was not the man trampled to death
at a street carnival in
Rio De Janeiro Sunday.
Moving on, Reebok has introduced a line
of full-bodied sneakers.
STILL AHEAD:
UNCIVIL LIBERTIES
UNION SUES FOR RIGHT
TO TAKE A CRAP
IN PUBLIC
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