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Witch Who Granted Beyoncé Beauty And Fame Takes Singer's First-Born Child

Moments after Beyoncé gave birth, a witch appeared in a cloud of smoke to claim the child as her payment for giving the singer fame, beauty, and talent.

Beyonce fans around the world were thrilled when the multi-platinum singer gave birth to a healthy baby girl earlier this week. But that excitement quickly turned to shock when the witch who granted Beyonce her perfect singing voice 15 years ago appeared in a cloud of smoke and demanded the star's first-born child. Gossip columnist Bryan Spees is here with all the details. Hey Angelique. -Hey Bryan. I cannot believe this. -Well believe it Angelique. The old hag has queen bee's baby right now and apparently it is totally legit. -How so? When Beyonce was a young girl, she met a magical witch named Grisora in the woods while gathering berries. And Grisora told Beyonce that she would make her sing with the unmatched beauty of 1000 nightingales in return for her firstborn child. But why didn't Beyonce mention it to anyone? Inside sources are saying that she thought the witch would actually forget about it over a time. What? But Grisora didn't obviously. -No, she didn't. And unbeknownst to Beyonce, she's actually been keeping tabs on the singer as evidenced in this photo. Apparently she was even in the front row at the VMAs, very hard to get seats, when Beyonce revealed her baby bump. So obviously the second that baby came out into the world, Grisora was right there to snatch it out of Beyonce's arms saying: "I have come for what is mine. Give me the babe." This is such a nightmare. How is Jay-Z responding to all of this? Oh, poor Jay-Z. He offered Grisora a room filled with gold if she would let them keep the baby but from what I can tell, Angelique, that nasty crone ain't giving back that baby. Well it doesn't sound like it. Grisora made this statement to the press earlier today. Do not weep for Beyonce. It was she who made the deal and signed it in her own blood. These starlets have got to stop making deals with magical creatures because it always gets them in trouble. I know, absolutely. We saw when the genie granted Jennifer Aniston eternal youth but then the eternal youth turned out to mean that she'll never grow up by having a lasting relationship or children. Duh. Also we saw when Christina Ricci asked a wizard to make her skinny, but the catch was he could make her head as big as he wanted. That was so sad. -It was awful. Hopefully this story will be a wake-up call for all other aspiring celebrities. -Yes, I'm sure it will be. Thanks. Thank you so much for being with us Bryan. Anytime Ang. -Alright, it's time to test your star knowledge. Which A-list Hollywood hunk did this entertainment reporter have sex with yesterday in a golf cart parked on the Warner Brothers lot? We'll let you know when we come back.