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Trump Blames China For Acting Too Late In Coordinating U.S. Coronavirus Response
WASHINGTON—Lambasting the rival superpower for what he called “reckless” and “irresponsible” behavior, President Donald Trump publicly blamed China Monday for acting too late in coordinating the U.S. Covid-19 response. “China knew our nation was…
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NCAA Wonders Why Financially Struggling Student Athletes Didn’t Just Exploit Labor Of Others
NEW YORK—Expressing confusion over players’ work ethic, NCAA president Mark Emmert wondered Friday why financially struggling student athletes didn’t just exploit the labor of others. “We understand students may often feel financial pressure, but…
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Biden Campaign Fundraising Email Reminds Donors Sexual Assault Allegations Don’t Bury Themselves
WASHINGTON—Urging supporters to help out and chip in as much as they can, the Joe Biden presidential campaign sent a fundraising email Thursday reminding donors that sexual assault allegations don’t bury themselves. “Now, more than ever, the Biden…
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American Girl Recalls 50,000 Dolls With Chainsaws For Hands
EL SEGUNDO, CA—After receiving hundreds of injury reports from parents across the nation, American Girl announced Thursday that it has decided to recall 50,000 dolls with chainsaws for hands. “Due to a factory error at our plants, thousands of our…
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Republicans Ridicule Democrats For Caring As Little About Sexual Assault As They Do
WASHINGTON—Responding to the fallout of accusations against Joe Biden in a series of social media posts and media appearances, Republican politicians and commentators ridiculed Democrats Wednesday for apparently caring as little about sexual assault…
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Man Can’t Unsee That McDonald’s Logo Just Big ‘M’
OLATHE, KS—Expressing disbelief that he had gone almost 40 years without noticing the symbol that was hiding in plain sight, local man Brett Presley told reporters Monday that after a friend pointed it out, he could not unsee that the McDonald’s…
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