Breaking NewsTexts From Tucker Carlson That Got Him FiredText messages from Tucker Carlson set off a panic inside Fox News after their revelation, showcasing the former host’s private and often alarming innermost thoughts. Here, obtained by The Onion in an exclusive trove from an anonymous source, are the…
Breaking NewsBrits Explain How They Are Celebrating King Charles’ CoronationAfter years of hard work waiting for his mother to die, King Charles III is finally to be crowned the King of England. The Onion asked Brits how they are celebrating, and this is what they said.
EntertainmentCourt Finds Ed Sheeran Did Not Violate Copyright With Song ‘I Wish I Were An Oscar Mayer Wiener’NEW YORK—Concluding a protracted legal battle in which the popular singer-songwriter stood accused of plagiarism, a federal jury found Thursday that singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran did not infringe upon anyone’s intellectual property with his song “I…
Breaking NewsAmy Coney Barrett Pissed She’s Been Doing Whatever Conservative Donors Want For 30 BucksWASHINGTON—Expressing annoyance for failing to ask earlier what her colleagues were receiving from benefactors, Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett was reportedly pissed Friday that she’s been doing whatever conservative donors want for just 30…
Breaking NewsMysterious Deaths At Churchill Downs Investigated By World-Renowned Horse Detective Ahead Of Kentucky Derby
Now playing 01:36Breaking NewsHurricane Ashley Expected To Strike Several Bars This Cinco De MayoThe screaming whirlwind of drunkenness has been gathering strength all week and has already made a mess of herself in a number of local bars.
MagazineIs Your Money Gathering Dust In A Savings Account When It Could Be Hidden Deep Within The Jungles Of Ecuador Luring Foolhardy Treasure Hunters To Certain Doom?
Breaking NewsAnthropological Research Reveals Ancient Cultures Used Psychedelics To Increase Productivity Within Startup Companies
Local89-Year-Old Man Leaves Behind Rich Legacy Of Processing, Excreting NutrientsNORTH HAVEN, CT—With friends and family celebrating his storied life in the wake of his recent passing, sources confirmed this week that a local 89-year-old man left behind a rich history of processing and excreting nutrients. “Throughout his life,…
LocalPolice Feel Bad After Easily Solving Series Of Riddles Serial Killer Obviously Put A Lot Of Work Into
PoliticsThe Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Ron DeSantisRon DeSantis, the rightwing governor of Florida, has been making headlines due to his ongoing feud with Disney and rumored presidential bid. The Onion sits down with the prominent Republican to discuss his political principles.
Breaking NewsChair Of Tim Scott Exploratory Committee Finds GOP Voters Have One Big Reservation But Doesn’t Want To Say It
EntertainmentCourt Finds Ed Sheeran Did Not Violate Copyright With Song ‘I Wish I Were An Oscar Mayer Wiener’
MagazineIs Your Money Gathering Dust In A Savings Account When It Could Be Hidden Deep Within The Jungles Of Ecuador Luring Foolhardy Treasure Hunters To Certain Doom?
BasketballLeBron James Credits Quick Injury Recovery To Crazed German Doctor Harnessing Power Of Lightning Atop Mountain Peak
