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Moderators Kick Off Debate By Asking Whether Bloomberg Ready To Get Shit Rocked Again
CHARLESTON, SC—As the televised event featuring the leading contenders for the Democratic Party presidential nomination got underway Tuesday evening, CBS moderators kicked off the debate by asking whether Michael Bloomberg was ready to get his shit…
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So-Called ‘Flash Sale’ May Have Been Strategized Weeks In Advance
IRVINE, CA— Painstakingly assembling clues from a series of advertisements rolled out over the course of a month, budget-minded consumer Bruce Brown, 52, declared Tuesday that he had evidence proving a so-called “flash sale” at a local department…
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Embarrassed Heart Surgeon Admits He May Have Accidentally Left Sanders’ Medical Records In Candidate’s Chest
LAS VEGAS—Acknowledging the blunder following public pressure that his patient release the confidential documents, embarrassed heart surgeon Dr. Michael Sharrer admitted to reporters Monday that he may have accidentally left Bernie Sanders’ medical…
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Trump In India Hails Blossoming Relations Between The 2 Planets
AHMEDABAD, INDIA—Representing the United States during a diplomatic visit to India, President Donald Trump hailed the blossoming relations between the two planets during a rally Monday at the 110,000-seat Motera Stadium. “Although we may come from…
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Trump In India Hails Blossoming Relations Between The 2 Planets
AHMEDABAD, INDIA—Representing the United States during a diplomatic visit to India, President Donald Trump hailed the blossoming relations between the two planets during a rally Monday at the 110,000-seat Motera Stadium. “Although we may come from…
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Reform ‘Fifty Shades’ Reader Doesn’t Think Christian And Ana Literally Indulged In Bladder Control Fetish, But Derives Meaning From Story Nonetheless
GASTONIA, NC—Saying the erotic romance novel had always been open to individual interpretation, reform Fifty Shades Of Grey reader Pamela Boyd divulged Tuesday that she does not think Christian and Ana literally indulged in bladder control fetish…
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