SlideshowThings To Never Say To Someone Who Is Scared Of FlyingIf you know someone who is for some reason afraid to sit for several hours in a thin metal tube traveling 35,000 feet above the ground, try to avoid saying these things.
News In BriefHerschel Walker Quietly Asking Around For D.C. Abortion Clinic RecommendationsWRIGHTSVILLE, GA—In a display of confidence ahead of the Georgia Senate runoff, Republican candidate Herschel Walker has begun quietly asking around about recommendations for Washington, D.C. abortion clinics, sources confirmed Thursday. “It needs…
News In BriefNew Tesla ‘Memories’ Feature Displays Pictures From Driver’s Life On Dashboard Before Car ExplodesAUSTIN, TX—Touting the feature as the perfect way to enjoy one’s fondest moments in the seconds before a fiery death, automaker Tesla rolled out an update Wednesday that displays pictures from the driver’s life on their dashboard just before the…
News In BriefEric Adams Resumes Placing Mentally Ill People Into Audience Of ‘The Tonight Show’ Against Their WillNEW YORK—Issuing a controversial directive regarding the city’s unhoused population, Mayor Eric Adams announced Wednesday that New York would resume the involuntary placement of mentally ill individuals in the audience of The Tonight Show. “The…
SlideshowThings Former Twitter Employees Said About Elon Musk That Got Them FiredRule No. 1 of working at Twitter? Do not insult the chief twit. Here are things that former employees said about Elon Musk that immediately got them fired.
News In BriefCouple Struggling To Get Pregnant Taking It As Sign That They Should Keep Trying Until Relationship ImplodesPORTSMOUTH, NH—Saying they had to be realistic about what their current situation entailed, married couple Brett and Hannah Steinwald told reporters Tuesday that they were taking their struggle to get pregnant as a sign that they should keep…
News In BriefPolice Team-Building Scavenger Hunt Challenges Officers To Arrest Someone From Every Race
News In BriefTrump Disappointed After Holocaust Denier Tells Him Holocaust Never HappenedPALM BEACH, FL—Appearing crestfallen during a dinner with the white supremacist at his Mar-a-Lago estate, former President Donald Trump is said to have expressed deep sadness last week when he was told by Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes that the…
SlideshowWhat Americans Dread The Most About The HolidaysWith the season upon us, The Onion asked Americans to share what they dread the most about the holidays.
SlideshowParents Explain How Affirmative Action Has Destroyed Their Children’s FutureWith policies to help improve employment or educational opportunities for underrepresented groups coming under fire, The Onion asked parents to explain how affirmative action has destroyed their children’s future.
RoundtableDo Your Worst To Me, But I’ll Never Tell You Bastards Whether I Think Biden Should Run In 2024
MagazineIt’s Women Of Color Visibility Month! And Even If It Isn’t, It Should Be, And Let’s Be Real, Are You Gonna Try To Argue It’s Not? Because, Honestly, It Might Not Be—But If That’s Something You Want To Push Back On, Be Our Guest, Buddy, Go Ahead And See How Dying On That Hill Works Out For You
FootballOnion Sports’ NFL Week 13 PicksOnion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s week 13 games.
