Recovering Sex Addict Assures Friends They Can Still Bone Around Him

Timeline Of The War In Afghanistan

President Biden announced Wednesday his plan to withdraw troops from Afghanistan in September, the latest move to pull the military out of what has become America’s longest war. The Onion looks at key dates from the U.S. war in Afghanistan.

Egyptologists Unearth Skeletal Remains Of First Human Pyramid

CAIRO—Speculating that Egyptians began stacking themselves into triangular structures far earlier than previously thought, professors at Cairo University announced Friday that they had unearthed skeletal remains of the first human pyramid. “While…