Breaking NewsBritish Museum Launches Stolen African Artifacts Into SpaceLONDON—As the debate continues over whether European and American institutions should return artworks and objects forcibly removed from formerly colonized areas, the British Museum announced Friday that it would take a compromise route by launching…
LocalPower Outage Forces Father To Chug All Milk In Fridge While Rest Of Family WatchesCLEVELAND—A loss of electrical power following a severe storm in the metropolitan area reportedly forced local father Allen Hardy to chug all the milk in the fridge Friday while the rest of the family watched. According to sources, the 48-year-old…
Breaking NewsHomeGoods Unveils ‘Family’ Branding IronFRAMINGHAM, MA—Touting the product as a fun and easy way to upgrade one’s household decor, discount retailer HomeGoods announced Thursday that its more than 900 U.S. locations would begin selling a branding iron that can be used to permanently burn…
LocalReport: Crock-Pot Of Chili Just Sitting There In Corner Of Dive BarCHICAGO—Following wild speculation among patrons over what the electric cooker might contain, a report released Friday confirmed that there was, in fact, a crock-pot of chili just sitting there in the corner of a local dive bar. “Apparently there’s…
Breaking NewsOklahoma Schools To Teach Students That Tulsa Massacre Was Crime Of Passion From Loving Black People Too Much
LocalBizarre Airbnb Looks Like Someone Actually Lives ThereSAN DIEGO—Baffled by the homey ambiance of the two-bedroom condominium, vacationer James Shin told reporters Tuesday that the bizarre Airbnb he had rented for the weekend looked like someone actually lived there. “Weird—if I didn’t know any better,…
LocalHarmful Psychological Effects Of Pornography Nothing Compared To When Man Masturbates Using Imagination
CommentaryAlso, I Shouldn’t Have To Disclose That I Had Sex With A Salmon | By Samuel AlitoBy Samuel Alito
MagazineMeet The 87-Year-Old EMT Who Is Continually Causing People To Die Because He Keeps Breaking His Own Arms When He Tries To Do CPR
