Americans Explain Why The Military Is Too WokeMany believe that a once-strong military composed of straight white men has become weak due to a liberal obsession with inclusion. The Onion asked Americans to explain why the U.S. military is too woke, and this is what they said.
LocalWealthy Dad Surprises Child With Tree House He Can Airbnb For Passive IncomeWILMETTE, IL—Telling the child not to peek as they walked into the backyard, local wealthy man Kenneth Schweitz reportedly surprised his son Tuesday with a tree house that the young boy could Airbnb for passive income. “It’s time you got your own…
PoliticsBiden Plays Up Wholesomeness By Drawing Freckles On Cheeks With MarkerWASHINGTON—In an effort to contrast himself with former President Donald Trump ahead of the 2024 election, President Joe Biden reportedly played up his wholesomeness Wednesday by drawing freckles on his cheeks with a marker. “Why, hello,…
Breaking NewsResearchers Predict First Person To Live To 150 Already Out There, Preying On Young Souls For Their Life Force
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FootballJames Webb Telescope Finds Evidence Of Packers Secondary Lined Up 20 Million Light Years Off Receivers
