In the first 24 hours after the attacks, Facebook removed 1.5 million videos of the recent New Zealand terror attacks, 1.2 million of which were blocked immediately at upload to reduce the actâs virality. What do you think?
CAMBRIDGE, MAâIn a landmark discovery that sheds new light on the development of Western thought, historians announced Tuesday they had found several lost Socratic dialogues in which the ancient Greek philosopher simply gives up and screams that his debate opponents are all fucking brainwashed shills. âIn these newlyâŚ
LONDONâBringing an end to years of controversy and legal challenges, Scotland Yard officials announced Tuesday that they had freed 163-year-old British man James Babington Gaskell after DNA evidence found him innocent of murder charges related to notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper. âItâs certainly a grossâŚ
After a spat of patrons being ejected from restaurants for wearing MAGA hats, a new app named 63red Safe will help users find restaurants that serve patrons of all political beliefs. What do you think?
BURBANK, CAâIn an effort to better integrate its values into the heart of its brand, the Walt Disney Company announced Tuesday it had decided to rehire writerâdirector James Gunn to helm Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 as part of a company-wide push to embrace pedophilia. âPedophiles have always had an important roleâŚ
MENLO PARK, CAâWarning that users who call for the suspension of bigoted accounts might just be afraid of a real debate, Facebook representatives told reporters Tuesday that classifying hate speech can be difficult because some posts actually make very interesting points. âAt Facebook, we are committed to combatingâŚ
WASHINGTONâRealizing that he spent years fighting for the life of what turns out to be a âlittle fucking gremlin,â anti-abortion activist Logan Brecken, 24, had a change of heart Tuesday after seeing detailed photographs of a human fetus for the first time. âOh, my God! I canât believe I used to stand outside PlannedâŚ
TUSCALOOSA, ALâConfirming decades of speculation concerning the potentially disruptive effects of runaway literacy, scientists at the University Of Alabama published a study Tuesday establishing a definite and potentially dangerous link between the practice of book learninâ and increased back talk. âAccording to ourâŚ
Ethiopian officials have found clear similarities between two recent crashes involving Boeing 737 Max 8s, putting pressure on manufacturer Boeing to determine what flaw in their planes might have been responsible for the tragedies. What do you think?
CRANSTON, RIâDescribing the utter lack of ambition as âsuch a shame,â sources confirmed Monday that local 27-year-old Andrew Maslia has been wasting his life playing video games when thereâs a whole world of other screens out there. âItâs really sad to see a guy like that spending eight hours a day holed up with hisâŚ
PERRYSBURG, OHâPromising to restore economic vitality and dignity to the struggling Rust Belt municipality, President Trump made a solemn promise Monday to bring back the town of Perrysburg, OHâs shuttered White Castle franchise. âWhite Castle was the lifeblood of this community, but unfortunately, during a previousâŚ
INDIANAPOLIS, INâIn a stern indictment of the cash-grabbing scandal that the student athletics organization was somehow kept completely in the dark about, the NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasnât making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. âAfter the disturbingâŚ
OAKLAND, CAâClaiming that unconstrained advances in meat-sauce application was as far beyond human calculation as its potential to harm future generations, KC Masterpiece CEO Benno Dorer warned Monday against societyâs increasing reliance on A1. âWhen applied correctlyâand, crucially, in judicious amountsâitâs trueâŚ
CREATIONâAdmitting that the mere thought of hosting His guest next weekend filled Him with terrible anxiety, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, revealed Monday that He was âreally dreadingâ an upcoming visit from His older brother, who had brought into being a far more successful cosmos. âI stress out whenever myâŚ
