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What To Know About ChatGPT

The artificially intelligent chatbot ChatGPT has recently taken the internet by storm, with both praise and concern for its capability to mimic human writing. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about ChatGPT.

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God Burns Mouth After Taking Big Swig Of Volcano

Breaking News

State Department Issues Travel Warning For Americans Visiting Chili’s

WASHINGTON—Recommending that U.S. citizens exercise extreme caution if they plan to make the trip, the State Department issued a travel warning Wednesday for every American visiting Chili’s. “The travel advisory for the family restaurant…

Breaking News

Obama Kills Self After Learning About ‘President Obummer’ Nickname

WASHINGTON—Calling the epithet a deeply painful way of talking about another human being, former President Barack Obama reportedly killed himself Wednesday after learning about the “President Obummer” nickname. “My Lord, have people really been…

Breaking News

Elizabeth Holmes Immediately Defrauds Biggest Inmate To Gain Other Prisoners’ Respect

BRYAN, TX—As soon as she reported Tuesday to the federal prison camp where she is to be incarcerated, former biotech entrepreneur Elizabeth Holmes is said to have immediately defrauded the biggest, toughest inmate she could find in an effort to gain…

Opinion

Parents Explain Why Trans Kids Should Be Banned From Prom

Local

Police Claim They Thought 9-Year-Old Boy They Shot Was Actually 10-Year-Old Boy

Breaking News

Report: More Hospitals Requiring Patients To Put Body Part Down As Collateral Before Receiving Services

Watch

Body Language Fact: Did You Know?

104-Year-Old Man Awarded WWII Medal Just To Be Nice

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Meaning Fact: Did You Know?

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Man Never Knows Right Time In Job Interview To Go In For Kiss

GREENWOOD, IN—Noting that his decision would likely set the tone for the entire meeting, local man Andy Franklin told reporters Tuesday that he never knew the right moment in a job interview to go in for a kiss. “I hate to say it, but when you meet…

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Matt Gaetz Takes Out Half-Page Ad In House Bill Congratulating Teen Girl On High School Graduation

WASHINGTON—Shelling out $55 for the loving tribute, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) reportedly took out a half-page ad in a House bill Friday to congratulate a local teen girl on her high school graduation. “Congrats, Kayla, so proud of you, punkin!” read…