SlideshowConservatives React To Ye’s Appearance On InfowarsAfter the renowned hip-hop artist praised Hitler and Nazis in an interview with Alex Jones, The Onion asked prominent conservatives how they felt about Ye’s appearance on Infowars.
News In BriefWoman Embraces Holiday Spirit By Telling Strangers She Doesn’t Speak To Her FamilyANN ARBOR, MI—With a twinkle of seasonal cheer in her eyes as she informs well-wishers of her estrangement from her closest relatives, area 34-year-old Lisa Vandersmith embraces the spirit of the holidays by telling complete strangers she doesn’t…
News In Brief‘It’s Not Too Bad,’ Says Man As Hot Sauce Begins Disintegrating JawMITCHELL, SD—After assuring his dinner companions at Blarney’s Sports Bar and Grill that he was more than capable of handling a little spice, area man Jared Perkins was overheard saying “It’s not too bad” as the hot sauce he was eating began to…
SlideshowCEOs Explain Why Their Brands Stopped Advertising On Elon Musk’s TwitterAt least 50 of Twitter’s top 100 advertisers have left the platform since Elon Musk bought the social media site. The Onion asked prominent CEOs why their brands are no longer advertising on Twitter, and here’s what they said.
SlideshowMost Awesome Perks That Employees Who Work For Elon Musk GetSometimes, it’s not so bad to work for the shitposter-in-chief. Here are the coolest things employees get who work for Elon Musk.
MagazineIt’s Women Of Color Visibility Month! And Even If It Isn’t, It Should Be, And Let’s Be Real, Are You Gonna Try To Argue It’s Not? Because, Honestly, It Might Not Be—But If That’s Something You Want To Push Back On, Be Our Guest, Buddy, Go Ahead And See How Dying On That Hill Works Out For You
News In BriefNew Tesla ‘Memories’ Feature Displays Pictures From Driver’s Life On Dashboard Before Car Explodes
News In BriefMan Afraid To Get Tattoo In Case He Feels Differently About His Children In 10 YearsWATERLOO, IA—Stating that “you never know what could happen down the road,” local man James Kenney told reporters Wednesday that he was afraid to get a tattoo of his children’s names in case he felt different about them in 10 years. “It’s easy to…
News In BriefCouple Struggling To Get Pregnant Taking It As Sign That They Should Keep Trying Until Relationship Implodes
News In BriefEric Adams Resumes Placing Mentally Ill People Into Audience Of ‘The Tonight Show’ Against Their WillNEW YORK—Issuing a controversial directive regarding the city’s unhoused population, Mayor Eric Adams announced Wednesday that New York would resume the involuntary placement of mentally ill individuals in the audience of The Tonight Show. “The…
SlideshowThings Former Twitter Employees Said About Elon Musk That Got Them FiredRule No. 1 of working at Twitter? Do not insult the chief twit. Here are things that former employees said about Elon Musk that immediately got them fired.
SlideshowParents Explain How Affirmative Action Has Destroyed Their Children’s FutureWith policies to help improve employment or educational opportunities for underrepresented groups coming under fire, The Onion asked parents to explain how affirmative action has destroyed their children’s future.
RoundtableDo Your Worst To Me, But I’ll Never Tell You Bastards Whether I Think Biden Should Run In 2024
MagazineIt’s Women Of Color Visibility Month! And Even If It Isn’t, It Should Be, And Let’s Be Real, Are You Gonna Try To Argue It’s Not? Because, Honestly, It Might Not Be—But If That’s Something You Want To Push Back On, Be Our Guest, Buddy, Go Ahead And See How Dying On That Hill Works Out For You
News In BriefNew World Cup Fan Frantically Searching Online For Any Information He Can Find On Country Of ‘United States’BETHESDA, MD—Trying to learn more information about the team he recently decided to root for, new World Cup fan Brian Edman was frantically searching online Friday for any information he could find on the country of the United States. “This is my…
