Kavanaugh Nomination Falters After Washington Post Publishes Shocking Editorial Claiming He Forgot Daughter’s Piano Recital

WASHINGTON—In a move that experts believe could upend the confirmation of President Trump’s second Supreme Court justice, the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh had reportedly begun to falter Friday after The Washington Post published a shocking editorial claiming he neglected to attend his eldest daughter’s piano recital…

Peter Strzok Summoned Before Congress Again For Texts Calling Trey Gowdy ‘A Pissy Little Shithead’

WASHINGTON—Following immediately on the heels of his hearing before the House Judiciary and Oversight committees, FBI agent Peter Strzok was again summoned to testify before Congress Thursday about texts calling Trey Gowdy a “pissy little shithead.” “Now what exactly did you mean when you said Trey Gowdy was a…

Stressed-Out Paul Ryan Uses Cheat Day To Indulge In One Bipartisan Vote

WASHINGTON—Indulging his secret weakness for rule-breaking after months of toeing the unbreakable line of Republican politics as usual, Speaker of the House of Representatives Paul Ryan used his monthly cheat day to indulge in one single bipartisan vote. “God, it feels so naughty—it really is naughty—but after weeks…

Tearful Trump Admits NATO Alliance Closest Thing To Friendship He’s Ever Had

BRUSSELS—Suddenly overcome by a swell of emotion while rebuking the other members for their unwillingness to share the burden of mutual security obligations, a tearful President Trump admitted Wednesday to his fellow world leaders that the NATO alliance is the closest thing to friendship he’s ever had. “I’m sorry to…

Trump Demands NATO Allies Match U.S. Commitment To Prioritizing Military Spending Over Healthcare

BRUSSELS—Blasting member states for failing to contribute their “fair share,” President Trump demanded at a summit meeting Wednesday that NATO allies match the U.S. commitment to making military spending a far greater national priority than healthcare. “In the United States, we’ve gone above and beyond to make sure…