O.J. Simpson Allowed To Remain Living After Coffin Doesn’t FitLAS VEGAS—With onlookers gasping as the former football star made a big show of being too big for the casket, O.J. Simpson was reportedly allowed to remain alive Thursday after his coffin didn’t fit. “If the coffin doesn’t fit, you must let him live…
LocalMan Still Thinks Of Computer Virus As Cartoon Worm That Bites Through ScreenPLANTATION, FL—Despite being a grown-ass adult in the year 2024, local resident Stu Jeffries told reporters Tuesday that he still thinks of a computer virus as a cartoon worm that bites through your screen. “I still imagine getting a computer virus…
PoliticsBiden: ‘Israel Has An Obligation Not To Harm My Reelection Chances’WASHINGTON—Responding to fallout from the Israeli military’s killing of seven World Central Kitchen aid workers in Gaza, President Biden made an address Thursday asserting that Israel had an obligation not to harm his reelection chances. “Let me be…
Breaking NewsSotheby’s Announces Auction Of Napkin On Which Jeffrey Epstein Jotted Down Idea For Pedophilia
