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Conservatives Explain Why They Do Not Trust The FBI

Since Mar-a-Lago was raided on Aug. 8, 2022, the FBI has fielded an unprecedented number of threats against its personnel and property. The Onion asked conservatives why they do not trust the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and this is what they…

Conservatives Explain Why They Do Not Trust The FBI

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U.S. Condemns Myanmar For Not Making Activist Executions Look Like Accidents

Post-Roe Abortion Laws In Every State

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Wirecutter Unveils Recommendations For Best Electric Chairs

Overzealous Fly Not Even Waiting For Shit To Drop From Dog’s Asshole

Customer Listens Silently As Barber Describes All Of The Actresses He’d Have Sex With

City’s Primary Investment In Community Comes Through Police Department’s Wrongful Death Settlements

Unambitious Psychopath Still Only Killing Small Animals

Study Finds You Should Talk More, People Want To Hear What You Think

Mar-A-Lago Assistant Manager Wondering If Anyone Coming To Collect Nuclear Briefcase From Lost And Found

Conservatives React To The Mar-A-Lago Raid

Trump Boys Thrilled FBI Seized Documents, Leaving Dozens Of Empty Boxes To Play In

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Conservatives Question Why FBI Raided Mar-A-Lago While Dick Dastardly Remains Free

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Republicans Explain Why They Oppose Same-Sex Marriage

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Tree That Killed Driver Sentenced To Execution By Chainsaw

Young People: Are They Trying To Replace Old People?

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Andy Reid Criticizes Soldier Field’s Eating Conditions

Inspiring Woman Becomes Professional Surfer Despite Shark Biting Head Off

Serena Williams Looks Back On Her Career Highlights

Man Feeling Ancient After Realizing He Older Than Everyone In Little League World Series

Americans Explain Why They Support The Death Penalty

Canadians React To American Gun Laws

Academy Apologizes To Sacheen Littlefeather For 1973 Oscars Incident

Americans Explain Why They No Longer Trust The Supreme Court