Follow Taylor Swift’s Every Move With Our Real-Time Jet TrackerStaying up to date the with the location of the busy pop star can be a challenge for fans. Fear not, however, for now you can follow Taylor Swift’s every move with The Onion’s real-time jet tracker.
LocalIntroverted Cowboy Struggling To Round Up PosseBANDERA, TX—Admitting that he was actually a lot more shy and reserved than folks might think, introverted cowboy Cassidy Walsh sheepishly told reporters Friday that he’d been struggling lately to round up a posse. “While I might seem confident and…
PoliticsBiden Recalls Speaking To Dead European Leaders Often As They Beckon Him Toward The LightNEW YORK—Refuting claims that his references to recent conversations with deceased politicians were made by mistake, President Joe Biden confirmed Thursday that he speaks to dead European leaders all the time as they beckon him toward the light.…
Breaking NewsMark Zuckerberg Assures Concerned Parents That He’s Keeping Very Close Personal Eye On Teen Accounts
BaseballFrail, Emaciated MLB Players Still A Few Weeks Away From Regaining Strength To Lift Single Baseball
