LocalThings You Should Never Say To A Marijuana MomMove over, wine moms, there’s a new type of negligent parent in town. If you happen to know a mother who smokes cannabis, here are things you should never say.
LocalLibrary Drops Dewey Decimal System By Organizing All Titles Under ‘B’ For BooksSEATTLE—Debuting a new, streamlined classification system, librarians at the Seattle Central Library announced Wednesday that they have officially dropped the Dewey Decimal System in favor of organizing all titles under “B” for books. “This is going…
Breaking NewsRon DeSantis Shakes World War II Vet’s TongueTALLAHASSEE, FL—In an effort to connect with voters while on the 2024 campaign trail, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) ended a fundraiser Tuesday by approaching a World War II veteran and shaking his tongue. Several reports indicated that the governor first…
Breaking News‘We Don’t Look So Bad Now, Do We?’ Says Carnival Cruise Ad In Response To Missing SubmersibleDORAL, FL—In response to a missing submersible intended to take tourists to the site of the Titanic wreckage, a new Carnival Cruise Line advertisement released Tuesday claimed “we don’t look so bad now, do we? “Everyone always said that our ships…
Breaking NewsFeds Wistfully Gaze At Photo Of Hunter Biden’s Penis One Last Time Before Closing Investigation
LocalPerfect 4.0 Student Rejected From University Just For Being White RapistLAKEWOOD, OH—In what many were calling another blatant act of discrimination in higher education. a perfect 4.0 student claimed Monday that he was rejected from the university of his choice just because he was a white rapist. “I graduated as…
LocalEmployees Disgusted By Frail, Malformed Child Produced By Forbidden Relationship Between 2 Coworkers
PoliticsGOP Finally Decides To Rally Behind Herman CainWASHINGTON—Having long sought to place a viable alternative to Donald Trump at the head of the party’s ticket, top GOP power brokers finally decided Thursday to rally behind the late Herman Cain for president in 2024. “After much discussion with my…