Breaking NewsEverything You Need To Know About Judge Aileen CannonAssigned to oversee Donald Trump’s federal case regarding his alleged mishandling of classified documents, Judge Aileen Cannon was criticized for previously ruling in favor of the former president who appointed her to the position. Here’s everything…
Breaking NewsCoast Guard Sends Another Submersible Full Of Billionaires After The First OneBOSTON, MA—Ramping up search and rescue efforts to locate the missing OceanGate tourist vessel, the U.S. Coast Guard told reporters Tuesday they sent out another submersible full of billionaires after the first one. “We’ve enlisted another team of…
Breaking NewsFeds Wistfully Gaze At Photo Of Hunter Biden’s Penis One Last Time Before Closing InvestigationWASHINGTON—Eyes welling up with tears as their time together came to an end, federal agents reportedly gazed at a photo of Hunter Biden’s penis one last time Tuesday before officially closing the pertinent investigation. “I suppose that’s the end of…
Breaking News‘We Don’t Look So Bad Now, Do We?’ Says Carnival Cruise Ad In Response To Missing SubmersibleDORAL, FL—In response to a missing submersible intended to take tourists to the site of the Titanic wreckage, a new Carnival Cruise Line advertisement released Tuesday claimed “we don’t look so bad now, do we? “Everyone always said that our ships…
LocalStudy Finds More Americans Taking On Third Job To Help Keep CEOs AfloatNEW YORK—In an indicator suggesting the gig economy was still thriving, a study released Monday by the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis found that more Americans were taking on third jobs to help keep the nation’s CEOs afloat. “Despite the robust…
LocalEmployees Disgusted By Frail, Malformed Child Produced By Forbidden Relationship Between 2 Coworkers
PoliticsGOP Finally Decides To Rally Behind Herman CainWASHINGTON—Having long sought to place a viable alternative to Donald Trump at the head of the party’s ticket, top GOP power brokers finally decided Thursday to rally behind the late Herman Cain for president in 2024. “After much discussion with my…