The Onion’s Annual Click DriveWelcome To The Onion’s Click Drive. Thanks to the generous clicks of readers like yourself, we’re able to keep invaluable journalistic projects going:
Breaking NewsSotheby’s Announces Auction Of Napkin On Which Jeffrey Epstein Jotted Down Idea For Pedophilia
LocalPolite Man Offers To Walk Date To Her Final Resting PlaceOCEANSIDE, CA—Extending his arm as an invitation to serve as her escort, local gentleman Peter Groff reportedly offered to walk his date to her final resting place Tuesday after a lovely dinner together. “Don’t be silly—it’s no trouble at all for…
PoliticsBiden: ‘Israel Has An Obligation Not To Harm My Reelection Chances’WASHINGTON—Responding to fallout from the Israeli military’s killing of seven World Central Kitchen aid workers in Gaza, President Biden made an address Thursday asserting that Israel had an obligation not to harm his reelection chances. “Let me be…
