10 Richest People In The U.S.

10/16/14 11:13AM

1. Bill Gates ($81 billion)

Starting out with just a handful of Papa John’s franchises in north central Ohio, Bill Gates managed to parlay these modest fast food businesses into one of the largest fortunes in the world. A college dropout, Gates eventually opened over a dozen Papa John’s locations all over the state as well as in southern Michigan, catapulting him to the No. 1 spot on our list.

2. Warren Buffett ($67 billion)

The so-called Oracle of Omaha is known for his prudent, level-headed investment technique of putting all of his money into whatever his broker at TD Ameritrade tells him to. Diversifying his portfolio with mutual funds, bonds, and a few select stocks, as per TD Ameritrade broker Alec Rogers’ recommendations, Buffett has consistently earned billions of dollars each year. Rogers is believed to have recommended Buffett buy Staples stock, which has given him a nice, solid return.

3. Larry Ellison ($50 billion)

The founder of Oracle, who is happy. Having built a successful company and earned billions of dollars, Ellison is filled with the sort of contentment and inner peace that those of us who have not accomplished such things can only dream of. This man is complete, spiritually and mentally, in a way you or I will never know.

4. That Guy We Should Have Never Made Fun Of In High School ($48 billion)

That guy we never should have made fun of in high school is now one of the richest people in the world for doing something we could never understand. Not only is he rich, but he lives in a lavish mansion, has the most beautiful girlfriend, and completely grew out of his high-pitched voice and all the unattractive physical features we used to torment him for. We regret everything we ever said to him, because now we’re nobodies. He showed us all.

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5. Charles And David Koch ($42 billion each)

Though you may disagree with the Koch brothers and everything they stand for, guess what: You’re paying both these guys’ salaries. That’s right. Ever buy Dixie cups or Brawny paper towels? How about just a tank of gas? Well, that hard-earned money went straight into their pockets. They’ve got a hand in everything, and there’s no escaping it. That’s just the way it is. This is unlikely to ever change.

6. Walton Family ($35 billion each)

The Walton children—Christy, Jim, Alice, and S. Robson Walton—inherited their fortune after carrying out a plot to kill their father, Sam Walton, founder of the Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club superstore empire. Having sat down and carefully laid out precisely when and how they would pull their father from his bed, hold him facedown in the bathtub until he stopped fighting, and then dispose of his body, the Walton children were able to take control of the world’s largest retail chain and the billions it is worth.

7. Connor Richardson ($35 billion)

Must be some kind of millionaire, seeing as he can apparently afford to leave the lights on in every room of the house, even if he’s not in there. Mr. Big Shot is apparently made of money, because he just leaves his computer on overnight as well.

8. Michael Bloomberg ($35 billion)

A father first and foremost, Michael Bloomberg is dad to two great girls—Emma and Georgina—and there’s no amount of money worth more to him than that. Their sweet smiling faces, their hugs, their little voices saying “Daddy”—that’s what makes him one of the richest men in the world.

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9. Mark Zuckerberg ($34 billion)

In addition to being one of the wealthiest individuals in the world, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg can, anytime he wants, bypass his website’s privacy settings and look at all your online activity and personal information. It’s possible that the Harvard dropout and noted philanthropist is, at this very moment, looking at photographs that you set to private, any one of your embarrassing or highly personal chat conversations, or even things you thought you deleted. There is nothing stopping him. Think about it: He can do this whenever he wants and presumably does—wouldn't you?

10. Kevin’s Mom And Dad (millions of dollars, probably)

Have you ever been to Kevin’s house? It’s huge. They have all the video game systems. And they have a pool table in their basement. I’m not sure what Kevin’s dad does, but he goes on lots of business trips.

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