Hot on the heels of the announcement that the next Grand Theft Auto is due out in 2025, it’s time to dive into some of the most tantalizing rumors surrounding what’s sure to be one of the defining games of the next generation. Here are 108 details about Grand Theft Auto VI that we’re throwing out because you never know, we might be right?
The game will feature cars. Seems like a no-brainer.
Dogs in other GTA titles. Dogs in this one.
Gotta have people to hit with your car.
Uh-huh.
As the owner of an HVAC company who lives with his two teenage children, Androwski will not play an integral role in the GTA VI narrative, but players can visit his home and watch him learn how to garden and read page-turners by Stieg Larsson and Dan Brown. Maybe this won’t be a character, though. Who knows?
At least one. Maybe three.
Don’t want to go overboard and have, like, the entire game world be covered in Tostitos.
Sure, that’s probably going to be in the game, too.
Springboarding from Nietzsche’s famed proclamation that “God is dead and we have killed him,” any murder of a character will prompt users to consider what exterior force or justification—short of a transcendent deity’s commandments—could possibly allow the ending of another life. One consideration is that an individually propagated rebellion propounds a universal morality, per The Rebel’s famed opening chapters.
Admittedly, this is unconfirmed. But it makes sense that Rockstar would include a mode in which your criminal character can mow down zombies. This is a popular feature in other games.
Rockstar may want to strike a more serious tone in this title, and thus elect to not include a zombie slayer mode.
It would be a shocking change to the series to strip out any crime-based storyline, cars, and open-world illegal activities of any sort and opt to instead make the game entirely a linear shooter where you kill zombies, but our source has not denied the possibility that Rockstar may do this.
Baffling as it may be, we have to be prepared for the possibility that the game won’t be called Grand Theft Auto VI at all and instead be stylized as Zombie Slayer Simulator III with blood dripping off the font and box art of a scary haunted mansion.
Sure! What the hell. We’re going to start just listing these off rather than giving explanations. There are way too many possibilities here for us to give our thoughts on every single one.
Wait... no. Forget that one. Doesn’t make sense. That was dumb. Sorry.
Don’t hold us to this one.
Of course, some of this is still tentative and some is outright speculation. But one thing is for sure, we already can’t wait to play the next installment in Rockstar’s blockbuster series!