SPRINGFIELD, IL—Saying he wanted to “go all out” while he still could, area man Evan Hurst reportedly spent the night before his 26th birthday going on a wild immunization binge, sources confirmed Monday. “It’s my last night as an insured man—bring on the rubella and meningococcal shots and keep ’em coming!” said Hurst, adding that he intended to stay out all night in search of the best attenuated and biosynthetic vaccines in town. “After today, there’s no telling when I’ll be in the position to visit a doctor and check how many more doses of Hib or DTaP I need. I just don’t want to look back on this night and regret not getting as much varicella immunity as I could.” At press time, an exhausted and dazed Hurst could be seen recovering from the previous night’s bender, reeking of alcohol swabs and wondering where the bandage on his shoulder came from.

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