ORLANDO, FL—Stating that he has shed nearly 10 percent of his body weight this year and is now down to 250 pounds, local 36-year-old Michael Peters sadly revealed Monday that he is in the best shape of his life. “Man, I feel great!” said the still-obese man, whose health, depressingly enough, has reached an all-time peak, leaving him at high risk for heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and many other serious conditions. “I’ve dropped 25 pounds, and for the first time in my adult life I’m wearing pants with a 46-inch waist. I’m back down to my college weight!” At press time, Peters was reportedly sweating.