7-Year-Old Has Seen Way Deeper Deep Ends

Illustration for article titled 7-Year-Old Has Seen Way Deeper Deep Ends

COLUMBUS, IN—Unfazed by the public swimming pool, local 7-year-old Logan Dixon told reporters Monday that he had seen way deeper deep ends. “Give me a break, what is this, five feet or something?” said Dixon, whose wisdom and courage left witnesses awestruck as he described how the public swimming pool’s depths paled in comparison to the those he had experienced at summer camp last year and at his friend Hunter’s house. “Sure, it’s deep by most people’s standards, but I’ve seen some things you wouldn’t believe. I’ve been in pools where I couldn’t even touch the bottom, not even on my tippy toes. Trust me, this is nothing.” At press time, Dixon was clinging to a foam pool noodle for dear life.

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