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America's Finest News Source.

70-Year-Old Arrested For BASE Jumping Off Virginia Skyscrapers

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A 70-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly leaping from tall buildings with a parachute in Northern Virginia, making as many as six leaps, including a harrowing 32-story plunge from a building over evening traffic. What do you think?

“This sounds like the kind of thing that will eventually take care of itself.”

Caroline Malinowski, Nostalgia Designator

“Saying he’s lost usually works for my grandpa in situations like that.”

Jerome Alcott, Job Exporter

“I’d rather plunge to my death than live out my 70s too.”

Joshua Arboleda, Seat Assigner