9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Introverts don’t need to go out to have fun. They’re perfectly fine spending Friday night at home alone watching movies like Zodiac starring Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right featuring Mark Ruffalo, skipping to all the Mark Ruffalo scenes in Shutter Island, or simply rereading The Progressive’s April 2012 interview with actor Mark Ruffalo.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Many introverts love photography.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Other introverts enjoy writing, which is why they send Mark Ruffalo three letters a day, except Wednesdays when they send him seven because that’s the day of the week he was born on.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Introverts tend to be very good listeners, which is why they can tell Mark Ruffalo is speaking directly to them in every interview he gives.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Introverts don’t have hundreds of close friends. All they need is one: Mark Ruffalo.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

If you’ve been driving closely behind Mark Ruffalo’s car for the past hour, you’re probably an introvert. You’re also probably an introvert if you’re following him into his driveway.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Remember: Opposites attract! Mark Ruffalo is an extrovert, which means introverts like having him tied up with rope in their basements completely naked and drizzling baby oil on him.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Most introverts wouldn’t like it if Mark Ruffalo was with them and started screaming for help. Screaming might attract attention. Introverts don’t like attention. Introverts need Mark Ruffalo to shut up right now.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time

Oh Jesus. Oh my God. Introverts killed Mark Ruffalo. They fucking killed him! They didn’t mean to go that far! Now introverts are going to have to burn it all down. Burn it all down.

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