News In BriefConservatives Question Why FBI Raided Mar-A-Lago While Dick Dastardly Remains FreeTALLAHASSEE, FL—Claiming that authorities were ignoring the real criminals in favor of a targeted witch hunt against Donald Trump, prominent conservatives questioned Monday why the FBI would spend time raiding Mar-a-Lago when Dick Dastardly remained…
PoliticsMar-A-Lago Assistant Manager Wondering If Anyone Coming To Collect Nuclear Briefcase From Lost And FoundPALM BEACH, FL—Noting that it had already been there for almost two weeks, Mar-a-Lago assistant manager Chris Mahoney reportedly wondered Monday if anyone was coming to collect the nuclear briefcase from the club’s lost-and-found. “Someone noticed…
News In BriefFBI Sent Itemized Bill For 12-Hour Stay At Mar-A-LagoPALM BEACH, FLORIDA—Faxing the government agency a detailed invoice days after a raid at the property, a Mar-A-Lago front desk employee reportedly sent the FBI an itemized bill Friday for their 12-hour stay at the resort. “Thank you for visiting…
News In BriefFBI Turns Over Mar-A-Lago Documents To Dork Agent Who Loves ReadingWASHINGTON—Following this week’s raid on former President Donald Trump’s Florida property, the FBI reportedly turned over documents retrieved from Mar-A-Lago to a dorky desk agent who loves to read.“Have at it, dweeb, you don’t have any friends so…
Magazine‘Mamma Mia!’ ‘Buongiorno!’ ‘Buca Di Beppo’: Cubans Respond To The Casting Of James Franco As Fidel Castro
News In Brief‘We Have No Plans To Scrap The Flash At This Time,’ Says Bruised, Trembling Warner Bros. CEO
News In BriefAstronaut Clearly Only Selected For Mission Because He’s Related To MoonWASHINGTON—Implying that he likely wouldn’t have earned the spot without a healthy dose of nepotism, NASA crew members told reporters Wednesday that astronaut Joseph Mesic was clearly only selected for their mission because he was related to the…
News In BriefTrump Boys Thrilled FBI Seized Documents, Leaving Dozens Of Empty Boxes To Play InPALM BEACH, FL—Clambering into the cardboard containers with delight the moment after agents had vacated the property, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were reportedly thrilled Monday when the FBI seized classified documents from Mar-a-Lago and left…
News In BriefBiden: U.S. Won’t Rest Until Brittney Griner Returned Home To Serve Marijuana Possession Sentence
News In Brief‘We Have No Plans To Scrap The Flash At This Time,’ Says Bruised, Trembling Warner Bros. CEO
Magazine‘Mamma Mia!’ ‘Buongiorno!’ ‘Buca Di Beppo’: Cubans Respond To The Casting Of James Franco As Fidel Castro