EntertainmentMusicians Explain Why They Hate TicketmasterFollowing recent Senate hearings on Ticketmaster, more and more artists are speaking out against the online ticket-sales monolith. The Onion asked musicians how they felt about the platform, and this is what they said.
InfographicWhat To Know About YouTube Influencer MrBeastWith over 130 million subscribers, MrBeast is one of the top YouTubers of all time, an influencer who has having earned both praise and criticism for his expensive stunts. The Onion takes a deep dive into the life and times of MrBeast.
SlideshowCEOs Predict The Future Of The MetaverseOver the past year, tech giants like Facebook, Microsoft, and Google have invested billions of dollars into virtual reality technology. The Onion asked some of the world’s most powerful business leaders about the future of the metaverse, and this is…
LocalWoman Puts On True Crime Podcast To Entertain Herself While Cleaning Up Husband’s EntrailsBOONE, NC—Saying it was the only way she could get through two hours of scrubbing blood from the floor, local woman Janet Kessler reportedly put on a true crime podcast Thursday to entertain herself while cleaning up her husband’s entrails. “I know…
Breaking NewsVictoria’s Secret Apologizes For Ill-Advised Body Positivity Campaign Showing Horse Wearing Bra
LocalThings To Never Say To Someone With An OnlyFansOnlyFans is a popular online platform where creators can sell pornographic photos, videos, and other explicit content. If you know someone who is an OnlyFans user, here are things you should never say.
Breaking NewsTicketmaster To Require Purchase Of Round-Trip Concert Tickets For Exiting Venue After Show
Breaking NewsU.S. Officials Call For Correct Amount Of ViolenceWASHINGTON—Addressing the need for swift and moderate change, U.S. officials reportedly called Tuesday for the correct amount of violence. “Like so many of you, I am outraged by the visibility of these senseless acts of hatred and violence,” said…
LocalReport: Everyone Laughing At What Is A Very Silly Misunderstanding, But Don’t Be Fooled—Even Now, The Seeds Of Resentment Are Taking Root
LocalMan Has Watched All 761 MoviesMADISON, WI—Watching the final credits roll on Grease 2, local man Rob Denton told reporters Monday that he had now watched all 761 movies. “I did it, I watched them all,” said the visibly exhausted man, who claimed to have spent the majority of his…
PoliticsBiden Secures Nation Extra Trash CanWASHINGTON—Touting his administration’s commitment to improving the nation’s rapidly deteriorating infrastructure, President Joe Biden announced Monday that he had officially secured the United States of America an extra trash can. “After extensive…
PoliticsDrop Box Outside National Archives Allows Ex-Presidents To Anonymously Return Classified Documents
Breaking NewsThings To Never Google After You Commit A CrimeIf you’re suspected of a crime, one of the first places the authorities will search is your online history. If you’re under investigation, never google the following things.
OpinionGoogle Employees React To Company LayoffsAfter Google recently cut 12,000 jobs, The Onion asked the former employees what they thought about the tech company’s layoffs.
InfographicWhat To Know About YouTube Influencer MrBeastWith over 130 million subscribers, MrBeast is one of the top YouTubers of all time, an influencer who has having earned both praise and criticism for his expensive stunts. The Onion takes a deep dive into the life and times of MrBeast.
BasketballMichael Jordan Opens Up About Long-Term Effects Of Orange Gatorade Seeping Out Of HeadJUPITER ISLAND, FL—Shedding light on a condition he’s been quietly struggling with since the ’90s, basketball legend Michael Jordan opened up Thursday about the long-term effects of orange Gatorade seeping out of his head. “Back in my playing days,…
