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Completely Legal Reasons Pharmacists Can Use To Refuse Birth Control

In most U.S. states, pharmacists are legally allowed to deny healthcare to customers if it interferes with their personal or religious beliefs. Here are completely legal reasons pharmacists can give to refuse dispensing birth control.

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Man Disgusted After Shining Blacklight On Ejaculating Penis

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Biggest Lies Americans Are Taught About The 4th Of July

While Independence Day can be a time of patriotic celebration, reports show many Americans still believe myths and outright lies about the origins of the national holiday. Here are the biggest lies Americans are taught about the Fourth of July.

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Migrant Imprisoned At Border Should Weep In English

SIERRA BLANCA, TX—Expressing annoyance that the detainee did not even appear to be making the effort, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Jonathan Pena confirmed Wednesday that a migrant in his custody could at least weep in English. “You…

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Americans Discuss Whether Biden Should Run Again

Many are concerned about Joe Biden’s physical and mental fitness to serve another presidential term. The Onion asked Americans if Biden should run again, and this is what they said.

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Hospital Vaporized By Powerful Blast Of Energy Released From Splitting Conjoined Twins

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Pete Buttigieg’s Locomotive Always Taking Up 2 Whole Parking Spots

Baseball

Dumbass Kid Bringing Mitt To MLB Game Must Think He’s Actually Going To Play

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Nude Justice Breyer Leaves Supreme Court After Turning In His Robes

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Love Fact: Did You Know?

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Study Links Postpartum Depression To Baby Immediately Slapping, Flipping Off Mother After Birth

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Dog Fact: Did You Know?

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Farmer Caught Googling ‘What Is Corn’

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Crime: How Our Manipulated And In Some Cases Completely False Data Shows Crime Is On The Rise

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Americans React To Roe V. Wade Being Overturned

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Supreme Court Ruling Allows Public School Teachers To Lead Students In Crusades

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Man Hopes Nicely Dug Grave Will Get Him Back In Captors’ Good Graces

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Ghislaine Maxwell Receives Lighter Sentence For Years Of Dedicated Work With Children

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Friends Always Trying To Set Up Single Woman With New Puzzle

LOS ANGELES—Saying they just wanted to see her happy, sources confirmed Monday that friends of local single woman Meredith Singer were always trying to set her up with a new puzzle. “Okay, don’t be mad, but we think we found the perfect one for you…

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Therapist Not That Invested In Patient But Likes Having Her On In Background

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CEO Doesn’t Expect Any Upcoming Layoffs Employees Deserve To Know About

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Guy Being Electrocuted Embarrassed Everyone Can See His Whole Skeleton Right Now

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Losing Custody Of Kids Only Makes Single Dad More Appealing

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Nation’s Centrists Stubbornly Double Down On Claim That Roe v. Wade Not At Risk

NEW YORK—Asserting there was no need to worry about the highly unlikely outcome, the nation’s centrists reportedly doubled down Friday on their claim that Roe v. Wade was not at risk. “People are blowing this whole idea of overturning Roe completely…