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Kids’ Halloween Movies That Are Actually Terrifying

Vikings Lived in America By At Least 1021

What Your Partner Is Actually Thinking During Sex

Editorial Cartoon: ‘Taken Leaf Of Her Senses’

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City Of Denver Shuts Down Bar For Operating Without A Brewery

DENVER—Citing the establishment for a flagrant violation of local ordinances, city officials shut down The Green Owl Tavern Tuesday for operating without a brewery. “After conducting a thorough examination of the premises, officers from the vice…

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Trick-Or-Treating Dangers Every Parent Should Watch Out For

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Supply Chain Backups Forcing Many Americans To Rethink Shipping Themselves Home For Holidays

CHICAGO—In the midst of longer delivery times and rising costs, supply chain backups were reportedly forcing many Americans to rethink shipping themselves home for the holidays. “Obviously, I want to see my family, but with all the delays it looks…

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Exxon Staff Wins Company-Wide Pizza Party After Greenhouse Gas Levels Hit New High

IRVING, TX—Following the release of a World Meteorological Organization report that found greenhouse gas concentrations reached a new high in 2020, sources confirmed the staff of ExxonMobil was rewarded Tuesday with a company-wide pizza party. “We…

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Man Honestly Better Off For Having Turned Self Over To Algorithms

BOSTON—Noting the major improvements in his mood, taste, and overall outlook, friends and family members of local man Joseph Bennington told reporters Tuesday that he was honestly much better off for having turned his life over to the internet’s…

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Lazy Family Has Kept Daughter’s Room Exactly The Same As It Was Before She Died

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Rest Of Band Wishes Chris Martin Liked Dakota Johnson Enough To Break Up Coldplay

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Construction Finally Complete On Canal Connecting Chemical Runoff With Mississippi River

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Family Spoils Grandma With 5-Minute Video Chat

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Thrift Store’s Bookshelf Has Some Pretty Solid PS2 Games

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Crypto-Averse Man Would Prefer Investing In Traditional Stock Market He Also Doesn’t Understand

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Signs Your Boss Is Definitely Underpaying You

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Unclear What Strings Entrée Pulled To Nab Full-Page Picture On Menu

GORHAM, ME—Voicing their suspicions about backroom deals being cut at the local restaurant, patrons at the Blue Pig Diner told reporters Tuesday it was unclear to them what strings the Caesar salad wrap entrée had pulled to snag a full-page color…

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Signs You Are About To Get Fired

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Woman In Giddy Honeymoon Stage Of Hating Someone New

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Man Who Posted ‘We Can All Get Through This Together’ Kicked Off Social Media For Spreading Covid-19 Hoax

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Sister-In-Law Sources Reveal ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Still Running

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Democrats Attempt To Woo Joe Manchin For Reconciliation Bill By Taping Single Hershey’s Kiss To Latest Draft

WASHINGTON—In their latest effort to bring the centrist lawmaker aboard for the party’s signature legislation, Democrats reportedly attempted to woo Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) Monday by taping a single Hershey’s Kiss to the reconciliation bill’s latest…

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Bannon Defies Subpoena On Grounds He Digesting Wild Boar Whole Over Next 6 Months

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Senators Explain The Importance Of Political Compromise

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Nebraska Governor Announces Program To Help Lift Children Out Of Violent Cycle Of Corn Cults

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Colin Powell, Presumably Wanted Fugitive Whose Location Must Have Been Unknown For Last 15 Years, Dead At 84

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Kids’ Halloween Movies That Are Actually Terrifying

Vikings Lived in America By At Least 1021

What Your Partner Is Actually Thinking During Sex

Editorial Cartoon: ‘Taken Leaf Of Her Senses’

City Of Denver Shuts Down Bar For Operating Without A Brewery

Trick-Or-Treating Dangers Every Parent Should Watch Out For

Supply Chain Backups Forcing Many Americans To Rethink Shipping Themselves Home For Holidays

Exxon Staff Wins Company-Wide Pizza Party After Greenhouse Gas Levels Hit New High

Man Honestly Better Off For Having Turned Self Over To Algorithms

Lazy Family Has Kept Daughter’s Room Exactly The Same As It Was Before She Died

Rest Of Band Wishes Chris Martin Liked Dakota Johnson Enough To Break Up Coldplay

Construction Finally Complete On Canal Connecting Chemical Runoff With Mississippi River

Family Spoils Grandma With 5-Minute Video Chat

Thrift Store’s Bookshelf Has Some Pretty Solid PS2 Games

Crypto-Averse Man Would Prefer Investing In Traditional Stock Market He Also Doesn’t Understand

Signs Your Boss Is Definitely Underpaying You

Unclear What Strings Entrée Pulled To Nab Full-Page Picture On Menu

Signs You Are About To Get Fired

Woman In Giddy Honeymoon Stage Of Hating Someone New

Man Who Posted ‘We Can All Get Through This Together’ Kicked Off Social Media For Spreading Covid-19 Hoax

Sister-In-Law Sources Reveal ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Still Running

Democrats Attempt To Woo Joe Manchin For Reconciliation Bill By Taping Single Hershey’s Kiss To Latest Draft

Bannon Defies Subpoena On Grounds He Digesting Wild Boar Whole Over Next 6 Months

Senators Explain The Importance Of Political Compromise

Nebraska Governor Announces Program To Help Lift Children Out Of Violent Cycle Of Corn Cults

Colin Powell, Presumably Wanted Fugitive Whose Location Must Have Been Unknown For Last 15 Years, Dead At 84

Most Terrifying Ways The Government Is Spying On You

Things Nobody Tells You About College Debt

Worst Things You Can Say To Your Child's Teacher

Billionaires Explain Why Space Is The Next Frontier

Thrift Store’s Bookshelf Has Some Pretty Solid PS2 Games

Pray For Us: We Just Learned The Captain On This Flight Has Never Played ‘Pilot Wings 64’ And Are Going To Storm The Cockpit

Sleep Easy, Gamers: The Original Team Of Developers Behind ‘GoldenEye 007’ All Have Robust Savings Accounts And Can Comfortably Provide For Their Families

Touching Tribute: This Video Game Is Dedicated To Some Person Named Emily

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

A Quick And Simple Drywall Recipe That Kids With Pica Will Love

Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

Tips For The Perfect Halloween Costume

Kids’ Halloween Movies That Are Actually Terrifying

Rest Of Band Wishes Chris Martin Liked Dakota Johnson Enough To Break Up Coldplay

Paparazzi Spot Timothée Chalamet Lounging On Mediterranean Yacht With Mystery 1,200-Foot Sandworm

Woman Starting Netflix Movie Horrified To Realize It TV Show

Astros Hope Victory Will Inspire Kids To Break Rules Without Punishment

NFL Scientists Study Effects Of CTE By Dissecting Brain Of Pro Football

Retired NFL Player Touts Sports Betting App As Exact Way He Went Bankrupt

FC Barcelona Players Wear Throwback Cubist Uniforms

Man Spent $57,000 Of Covid Business Relief On Pokémon Card

Vikings Lived in America By At Least 1021

Manchin Says He Offered To Change Political Parties

Pig Kidney Successfully Transplanted Into Human For First Time