Heartbreaking: Dad Is Excited Out Of His Fucking Mind After Asking A Cab Driver In Aruba To Take Us Where The Locals Eat And Getting Dropped Off At What’s Basically An Olive Garden
Josh McCown Retires After Signing One-Day Contract With Cardinals, Lions, Raiders, Dolphins, Panthers, 49ers, Bears, Buccaneers, Browns, Jets
Taylor Swift Inspires Teen To Come Out As Straight Woman Needing To Be At Center Of Gay Rights Narrative
UPPER ARLINGTON, OH—Describing how the pop singer’s latest music video provided the encouragement she had been looking for, local teen Gabriella Bowman was reportedly inspired Monday by Taylor Swift to come out as a straight woman needing to be at the center of the gay rights narrative. “As soon as the video for the…
White House Hires Top Hollywood Agent To Pitch Action-Packed, High-Concept War With Iran To American Public
Boeing CEO Admits Company Made Mistake By Including Automatic Self-Destruct Function On All 737 Max Planes
CHICAGO—Acknowledging that certain practical considerations had been overlooked in production, Boeing president and CEO Dennis Muilenburg admitted at a press conference Monday that the company had made a mistake by including an automatic self-destruct function on all 737 Max airplanes. “At the time, we thought that…
Looks like someone hasn’t been paying attention! Brett Winston, a deeply ignorant man who has apparently learned nothing from history, told friends this week that he’s excited about the upcoming Electronics Arts title Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order.