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Doctors Warn Marshawn Lynch That Next Time He Goes Into Beast Mode Could Kill Him

OAKLAND, CA—Calmly reiterating to the incredulous Oakland Raiders running back that they were looking out for his best interests, doctors warned Marshawn Lynch Wednesday that the next time he goes into Beast Mode could kill him. “Marshawn, I know you’ve gone through most of your Beast Modes without incident, but now…

Russell Westbrook Briefly Forgets How To Dribble After Thinking About It Too Hard

SACRAMENTO, CA—Freezing in a moment of complete panic after receiving an inbounds pass during a game against the Sacramento Kings, Oklahoma City Thunder shooting guard Russell Westbrook told reporters Tuesday night that he briefly forgot how to dribble after thinking about it too hard. “I just really got in my own…

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While I May Disagree With His Choice Of Words, I Fully Support The President In Whatever It Is You’re Talking About That He Just Did

We all know the president has a personal style that can, on occasion, be less than delicate, even a bit abrasive. Remember, though, Donald Trump is new to governing. He may not be a polished politician, but I can assure you his heart is in the right place. And while I may disagree with his phrasing or approach in this…

‘Stranger Things 2’ Creators Say Keen Viewers Will Notice Twinge Of Disappointment Hidden In Every Scene

LOS ANGELES—Saying that eagle-eyed fans on social media had already pointed out several of them, the creators of Stranger Things 2 revealed Tuesday that keen viewers will notice twinges of disappointment hidden in every scene. “Not to give too much away, but be on the lookout for the tiny letdowns we snuck in almost…