This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2022, with most of them being born in 2000. The Onion takes a look at some facts and figures about these students and their worldview.


Came of age with access to hundreds more Pokémon than previous generations.


Have virtually no recollection of the Chester A. Arthur administration.


Shitload of Aidans.


Five percent younger than the class of 2021.


A significant percentage of them consider Taiwan to be a sovereign nation independent from China.

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Lucky bastards get to use their parent’s health insurance until 2028.


Their most common first words were “current Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.”

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Didn’t start driving until 2016 and won’t start driving for Uber until 2023.


Most of them have never seen a toaster.


They’ll get old and sad too someday, don’t worry.

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