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A Primer On Pope Francis’ Views

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Pope Francis has garnered much international attention in the first two and a half years of his papacy, taking a more liberal approach to women’s issues, the family unit, and the environment than his predecessors. Here is a primer on prominent global issues and the pope’s views on them:

  • Contraception: Goes against God’s plan for global population crisis
  • Climate Change: Opposes just as strongly as most other forms of change
  • Women Priests: Nope
  • Child Abuse: Must be eradicated entirely from church’s list of PR issues
  • Divorce: Tacit acknowledgment that perhaps not all differences are completely and beautifully reconciled by reciting the Nicene Creed
  • God: Generally in favor of
  • Wealth Inequality: Prays with only the least jewel-encrusted rosaries when visiting the poor
  • Birds: Fucking loves birds
  • Child Labor: Very helpful during mass
  • Homosexuality: Famously quipped, “Who am I to judge?” when asked about his views, before adding, “Oh, right, the pope”