There are many truths hidden away from the non-gaming masses: Cheat codes, tricks, and even easter eggs. But one piece of knowledge looms larger than all else. Well, gather ’round, gamers, for now we will share the one secret that only those of our ilk know: This button? This one here? It’s the one that will make your character jump.
Careful, lest a casual hears our little tête-à-tête. Good? Are we safe? Then we will say it again. If you press the A button on this controller, your characters will launch themselves into the air with a jump. What’s more, if you’ll come closer, we’ll tell you another secret. A secret more shocking than even the last one we conveyed.
Good, you wish to share in this esoteric information. Then we will lower our voices to a hush and whisper into your ear. Pressing this button once will cause your character to jump. But twice? That will cause your character to double jump.
Speak not of this outside of our circles. None but true gamers know of what we discussed today. And if you ever tell a word of this to any but an initiate into our video gaming communities, you will be expelled from our ranks. You will be branded a traitor and a scapegrace and your gamertag will be held in infamy for generations to come.
Keep our secret safe, however, and it will provide you with abilities beyond your wildest imagining. You will leap over boxes and onto platforms. You will be able to reach high ledges. You can even jump over other gamers in multiplayer matches, if they are crouching.
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Oh, you wonder what button to press in order to achieve a crouch? Well, that is perhaps a secret that can be told another time. For now, relish what we have taught you. It will surely serve you well.