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A Timeline Of Elvis Presley’s Life

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Elvis Presley, iconic rock and roll singer, guitarist, and actor, died 40 years ago today. The Onion looks back on his life.

August 1935

Elvis Aaron Presley is born after a series of provocative hip thrusts from his parents



Elvis is crowned King Of Rock N Roll following a swift, bloody military coup

March 1957

Elvis buys Graceland, a 14-acre, 8-toilet mansion in Nashville, TN

November 1957

Presley stars in Jailhouse Rock, a film that shines a light on prison overcrowding and the dangerous tendency of inmates to break into song and dance


March 1958

Presley is drafted into the U.S. Army despite an advanced case of the blues


Some asshole introduces Elvis to painkillers


Elvis begins performing in Las Vegas as part of an Elvis Presley tribute band

June 1970

During stage performances, Elvis begins wearing his iconic cape, jumpsuit, flippers, and scuba mask


December 1970

Elvis visits Richard Nixon’s White House for a landmark stealing-from-black-America summit



Over 1 billion people tune in to watch Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii Via Satellite, and the Soviet Union responds by launching Ukrainian crooner Iosif Kobzon into low-earth orbit



Elvis invents his namesake sandwich consisting of peanut butter, banana, and amphetamines


September 1977

Dave Rhodes, a portly insurance claims adjustor who keeps to himself, moves into his new ranch house in Mesa, AZ