Rooted in multiple traditions and observed in countless ways, Halloween is a beloved celebration across much of the world. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
7000 B.C.
Native Americans first cultivate pumpkins while searching for a foyer adornment that would go well with dried cornstalks
600
Celtic tribes celebrate end of harvest season by getting drunk on a Tuesday night
1576
First appearance of nurse-of-ill-repute costume
1895
Candy corn somehow weasels its way into this thing
1908
Industrial Revolution gives way to thriving cheap rubbery mask sector
1915
German, French, and British soldiers lay down their weapons to trick-or-treat together between the trenches
1955
First and only razor blade inserted into apple
1959
Haunted houses are legalized under the landmark Supreme Court ruling State Of Ohio v. Count Dracula’s Spooky Screamatorium
1962
After pulling a rigorous all-nighter, a triumphant Bobby Pickett rhymes “mash” with “smash”
2003
Sixth-grader Kelsey Adams finally old enough to trick-or-treat without adult supervision
2017
An eighth fucking installment of the Saw franchise