With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
1962-1972
Hundreds of miniature shampoo bottles and towels stolen from the Watergate Hotel
February 2, 1971
A secret voice-activated taping system is installed in the Oval Office, programmed to start recording whenever Nixon utters the phrase “and now, for my next dastardly scheme…”
June 17, 1972
Five men break into the Watergate complex wearing Richard Nixon masks
June 20, 1972
Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein assigned story on National Zoo’s new panda and told to follow it wherever it takes them
November 7, 1972
American public reelects Nixon in order to find out how this whole thing ends
July 18, 1973
Nixon orders White House taping system disconnected after hearing how weird his voice sounds
August 10, 1973
Checkers reaches out to Senate committee seeking immunity deal
October 10, 1973
Vice President Spiro Agnew resigns in order to focus on taking bribes in the private sector
October 20, 1973
Three men found jobless in a gruesome scene later dubbed the “Saturday Night Massacre” by investigators
February 16, 1974
Nixon kicked out of Jefferson Starship due to the persistent bad publicity his scandals have brought to the band
August 9, 1974
Nixon becomes the first president to resign, and Vice President Gerald Ford is soon after sworn in with Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis at his side
September 8, 1974
29-year-old Donald Trump watches with rapt attention as President Ford grants Nixon a full pardon