Following the assassination of Haitian president Jovenel Moïse on July 7 and the political crisis it prompted, calls for the U.S. to get more involved with Haiti also shine a light on the history of relations between the two countries. The Onion looks at key events in the timeline of U.S.–Haiti relations.
1776-1914: Haitians miraculously survive without assistance of strong American military presence.
1914: Haiti stokes aggressions with U.S. by having gold.
1915: America finally recognizes Haiti as a branch of Citibank.
1934: U.S. ends invasion of Haiti, retaining influence over only their economy, military, and political systems.
1957: Haitian president François “Papa Doc” Duvalier’s brutal policies prompt wave of thanks from American politicians for helping share the load.
1994-1997: To quell chaos in Haiti, U.S. military elects itself as interim president.
2006: Wyclef Jean and Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” chosen as background music in CIA training video.
2010: Following a devastating earthquake in Port-au-Prince, America steps up and wishes there was something it could do to help.
2011: Clinton Foundation raises millions of dollars to fix tectonic plates damaged by earthquake.
2021: Haiti asks U.S. to send reinforcements before realizing mid-sentence how short-sighted and dangerous that sounds.