Actual Problem A Nice Change Of Pace For Anxious Man

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NEW YORK—After his laptop suddenly stopped working earlier this week, chronically anxious man Henry Geller, 36, confirmed to reporters how nice it was to have an actual problem to worry about for a change. “I’ve got to say, it’s pretty refreshing to obsessively agonize over a real, concrete issue instead of some artificial mental construction,” said Geller, pointing out how much of a pleasure it has been to explain his problem to other people and, in response, hear them agree that he’s facing a difficult predicament rather than offering repeated assurances that the concern is solely in his head. “This is actually kind of nice; it’s not some insignificant nonissue that I’ve blown way out of proportion or a vague, unspecific sense of dread that’s causing me to torment myself all day long, but an objective event that legitimately happened in the world. It’s a great change of pace.” Geller added that he plans to enjoy the feeling for a few more hours until he wakes up in the middle of the night terrified that he is inadequate in every aspect of his life and that everyone he encounters can sense it.