CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Citing the website’s easy navigability, wide variety of lodging options, and ability to filter rentals by price range and neighborhood, Airbnb user Elliot Nofzinger told reporters Monday that he loves how straightforward the service makes it to ejaculate into a perfect stranger’s sink. “Airbnb is great—I just go online, scroll through a few photo albums, read some user reviews, and then boom: I’m rubbing one out in the bathroom sink of some guy I don’t even know,” said the 28-year-old traveler, who went on to add that the simplicity of online booking means that anybody can peruse lodging options one day and be aiming their semen into a sink the very next. “I’ve been to eight different places and I haven’t been disappointed yet. You get a nice clean bed, you save a little cash, and you can just grab some of the host’s family photos, line them up on top of the toilet tank, and get to work.” Advocates of the site say it is also ideal for hosts who provide accommodations to Airbnb guests, as the service makes it simple to secretly film a diverse array of masturbators.
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