NEW YORK—Responding swiftly after a federal judge struck down the sky mandate, domestic airlines including Delta, United, and Southwest announced Tuesday that it was safe to fly planes indoors again. “Finally, after two long years of strict government regulations, passengers can breathe a sigh of relief knowing they’re once more free to fly indoors,” said Delta CEO Ed Bastian, adding that he had already heard of thousands of customers celebrating the relaxed protocol as their flights smashed through plate glass windows and soared safely through office buildings, warehouses, and shopping malls. “I think we’re at the point where we can trust people’s judgments about whether planes ought to be used indoors or not. Obviously, if it ever seems unsafe to fly inside a supermarket or cathedral, our pilots are free to simply crash out through the roof and navigate around outside again.” Bastian concluded that he was even happier to drop the “frankly nonsensical” federal regulations that forced planes to stay six feet away from each another at all times.
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Airlines Announce It Safe To Fly Planes Indoors Again