
STANFORD, CA—In a groundbreaking study that has alarmed many as the nation rolls back reproductive rights, researchers at Stanford University published startling data Thursday that revealed only 20% of unwanted babies end up being adopted by wild animals. “Contrary to conventional wisdom, we found that only one in five human infants resulting from an unintended pregnancy wound up being taken in by wolves or monkeys that raised it as one of their own,” said study author Dr. Naomi Toomen, noting the discovery was part of a larger trend in which more wildlife appeared to prefer birthing and rearing young of their own species rather than picking up a dirt-smudged infant by its diaper, licking it clean, and gently teaching it the ways of the wilderness. “In 55% of cases, lost babies were treated with complete ambivalence by any chimpanzee, tiger, or bear that encountered them, and 25% of the time, they were simply killed and eaten. The success rate was even lower among toddlers—we were surprised to find that only one-tenth of 2-year-olds abandoned in the jungle grew up to wear loincloths, swing from vine to vine, and spurn the ways of human civilization. Furthermore, even the ‘lucky’ ones who do find a home in nature are forced to spend their adult life reckoning with the childhood trauma of, say, hungrily plunging their face into a live rabbit or ripping a zebra carcass to shreds with their bare teeth.” The research follows a 2019 study that found unwanted babies placed into the open jaws of a great white shark seldom lived to celebrate their first birthday.