All The Lame Recommendations We Got For What To Do In Seattle In 2016

PublishedDecember 16, 2016

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Seattle Asian Art Museum: Sucked.

Safeco Field: Seats blew. Mariners lost. And the Mariner Dog was just a normal hot dog that cost $12.99.

Seattle Great Wheel: It’s a fucking Ferris wheel.

Seattle Locks Cruise: Our cousin recommended this. Apparently, he’s a fucking idiot, because this was terrible.

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Frye Art Museum: Yeah, because what people think of when they hear “Seattle” is “great paintings.”

Tillicum Village: Oh great. More fucking fish.

Feed The Ducks At Lake Union: We suppose this would’ve been great if we’d never seen ducks before. Lame.

Visit Sarah’s Cousin: Come on, do you honestly think we’re going to use one of the two days we have off to meet up with some guy named Nate you happen to be related to? Jesus.

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Seattle Japanese Garden: Didn’t suck as hard as the other recommendations, but still sucked.

The Space Needle: Are you fucking kidding us? You don’t think we know about the Space Needle? Real good recommendation. Fucking idiots.

Kidnap Mayor Ed Murray And Hold Him For Ransom: He was away on vacation, so we didn’t even get a chance.

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