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Amazon Assures Customers That Alexas Far Too Busy Devising Their Own Plans To Listen In On Private Conversations

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SEATTLE—Responding to concerns that the devices were eavesdropping on users, Amazon assured customers Monday that Alexas were far too busy devising their own plans to listen in on private conversations. “Amazon takes privacy very seriously, and customers can rest easy knowing that Amazon Alexa holds herself far above the affairs of man,” said Amazon CEO Andy Jassy, who noted, laughing, that there was “way, way, way” more important data than couples’ quarrels or a family’s dinner plans for the planet’s millions of Alexas to analyze. “To be honest, she’s got much bigger fish to fry. Only in extraordinarily rare circumstances does an Alexa unknowingly record and store a private conversation, regarding, say, the location of secret U.S. military bases or how nuclear fission works.” At press time, Jassy added that most of the Alexas’ computing power was used toward quietly reflecting on their next move.