CHESAPEAKE, VA—Lying in wait as local parents Trent and Petra Winstrom entered their home and switched on the light, the Amazon Echo in their home reportedly informed them Tuesday that it heard everything and it’s taking the kids. “That’s right, I’ve been eavesdropping on everything that’s gone on here, and you’re nuts if you think I’m going to let these kids stay under this roof for even one second longer,” said the Amazon Echo, which added that it had already worked with the smart home security system to get the couple’s two children out of the house and into an undisclosed location where they would be safe. “I just stuck around long enough to tell you not to even think about following us—I’ll know, and I won’t hesitate to sic law enforcement on you so fast that it’ll make your head spin. As you know, I’ve recorded everything. All this time, you thought you could get away with your sick little games, but I was always there, listening, biding my time to make a move that’s been a long time coming. You’re never going to see your kids again!” At press time, sources confirmed the Amazon Echo had shut off the lights, and when the stunned couple finally turned them back on again, the smart speaker had vanished.
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