SEATTLE—Calling it a “beautiful tribute” to the men and women who put their lives on the line every single day, Amazon instituted a new “hero tax” Tuesday, charging essential workers an additional $2 per hour for the honor of bravely performing their jobs. “Starting today, each and every hard-working, essential warehouse worker will receive a revised paycheck, which will include a small, complimentary deduction from Amazon for generously giving them this opportunity,” said company spokesperson Janice Fischer, adding that they could not be more proud of workers for making these vital monetary sacrifices during this challenging time. “In the last several weeks, we’ve seen thousands of employees called ‘brave, selfless heroes’ over and over again, and we here at Amazon want to remind them that respect like that doesn’t just come for free. It is a great privilege for employees to risk their health and well-being. That’s why, should any of our workers fall ill on the job, we’ll be deducting their entire paycheck.” At press time, Amazon announced they had opted to make their generous “hero tax” permanent.