LEAWOOD, KS— Reversing course mere hours after reopening their doors, cinema giant AMC immediately reclosed Thursday following an incident in which 7-year-old movie attendee Emma Pearson puked all over a movie theater chair after eating too many Sour Patch Kids. “Due to unfortunate circumstances involving an exuberant child, two full boxes of delicious, sugar-coated candy, and a luxurious reclining theater seat which is unfortunately and temporarily coated in multicolored vomit, we are forced to shutter our theaters until further notice,” said CEO Adam Aron, who expressed regret that AMC staff failed to prevent the child from consuming half a pound of Sour Patch Kids and an extra-large Icee before the opening credits of Trolls World Tour appeared on screen. “The issue was compounded when the child partially threw up in her popcorn bag in an effort to contain the spew, only to trip and spill it all over the aisle. We at AMC cannot in good conscience allow moviegoers to fill theaters that are this sticky and completely reek.” At press time, AMC was establishing protocols limiting the amount of candy sold to those under 14, but stressed they could not completely rule out future instances of children hurling all over the backs of customers’ heads.
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