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Americans Celebrate 4th Consecutive Victory Over Covid

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WASHINGTON—Gathering with family and friends to mark another effective return to normality, Americans were reportedly celebrating their fourth consecutive victory over Covid on Thursday. “Defeating the virus just once would have been enough for us, but four consecutive wins? What a treat!” said 53-year-old Indianapolis resident Adrien Miller, just one of the reported millions of people across the country who were delighted and relieved to have once again turned a corner in the battle against Covid. “We’ve absolutely dominated Covid for the fourth time in two years. How lucky are we? It’s amazing what we can accomplish in such a short time when we all work together. My heart’s just racing with the thrill of knowing I’ll never have to wear another mask for the next three months, at least.” At press time, sources confirmed Americans were raising their glasses in a toast to the next four victories.