Americans Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

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Today, millions of Americans are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, a Christian feast day that has evolved into a secular celebration of Irish culture with parades, festivals, drinking, and wearing the color green. How are you celebrating?

“Resuscitating at least five dipshits outside Sullivan’s Pub.”

Brianne Prater, Paramedic

“Probably just a quiet evening vomiting at home.”

Marcus Gimbel, Unemployed


“Enjoying a day where I’m not so singled out by my alcoholism.”

Nelson Taffet, Phlegm Analyst