Americans Explain Why They Are Not Voting In The Midterms

“That’s exactly what the government wants me to do.”

“I remain loyal to the throne.”

“We’ve gerrymandered the state enough to never have to worry about losing.”

“If voting worked, would I be in office?”

“What kind of a loser runs for Congress? Not someone I can support.”

“If you reward them with a vote now, they’ll just want another vote two years from now, and then another and another.”

“Coach says it’s bad for my pitching arm.”

“Every Election Day, I drive to where the polling place is supposed to be, but I get there and it’s just the middle school.”

“I only vote for the big ones, baby: president, king Of England, and space commander.”

“I’m more of a casual democracy fan. I don’t really want to get that deep into it.”

“I never learned how, and now I’m too embarrassed to ask.”

“The governor of Georgia put a chair in front of my door to prevent me from leaving.”

“I guess I’m fine leaving the midterms to the insane hardcore zealots.”​

“Don’t they still have my vote from last time?”​

“Would rather roll it over and vote for president twice.”

“My state legislators have made it clear they do not want me to vote, and what can I say, I’m a people pleaser.”

“The American electoral system is designed to disenfranchise low-income people like me who have jobs, limited childcare, and travel issues that conflict with rigid voting requirements, plus I don’t want to.”

“What have those D.C. assholes ever done for me?”

“How am I supposed to pick? Both candidates are so good!”

“Sadly, I don’t feel a romantic spark with any of the candidates.”

“I haven’t seen enough political ads to be brainwashed one way or the other.”

“Notice President Trump’s name isn’t on the ballot? Pretty telling.”

“You can’t expect us to vote every two years like we have nothing else going on in our lives.”

“People should just be grateful someone like me isn’t more civically engaged.”

“Frankly, none of the candidates are racist enough.”

“The ‘I voted’ stickers were better two years ago.”

“I tried voting once and didn’t get everything I ever wanted.”

“Women aren’t allowed to vote in the midterms.”

“I voted twice in the last election, so it’s only right that I sit this one out.”

“Frankly, I’m perfectly content getting fucked over by either party.”