After an FBI raid on Donald Trump’s residence at Mar-A-Lago, many are questioning whether the 45th president of the United States should run again for office. The Onion asked everyday Americans what they thought, and this is what they said.
Americans Explain Why They Want Trump To Run Again
2 / 20
Leticia Ortega (Aerospace Engineer)
Leticia Ortega (Aerospace Engineer)
“At this point, I’m just curious how far we’re actually capable of falling as a nation.”
3 / 20
Andre Adams (Equipment Manager)
Andre Adams (Equipment Manager)
“I don’t know why. The whole point is that I don’t have to think for myself anymore.”
4 / 20
Jamie Hurwitz (Law Professor)
Jamie Hurwitz (Law Professor)
“I miss an America where corporate tax rates were at a record low, fossil fuel extraction was at a record high, and a megalomaniacal 70-something spit in the face of a public health pandemic.”
5 / 20
Gloria McGee (Market Research Analyst)
Gloria McGee (Market Research Analyst)
“I want blood in the streets, and that seems like the fastest way to get there.”
6 / 20
Kendra Cohen (Construction Worker)
Kendra Cohen (Construction Worker)
“Things have gotten bad, and I want them to be much, much worse.”
7 / 20
Joe Biden (President)
Joe Biden (President)
“Literally the only way I get reelected.”
8 / 20
Rodney Carter (Loan Officer)
Rodney Carter (Loan Officer)
“I’m sick of Democrat-led partisan gridlock and want Republican-led partisan gridlock instead.”
9 / 20
Heidi Walker (Dental Hygienist)
Heidi Walker (Dental Hygienist)
“There’s still one or two civic institutions he needs to finish off.”
10 / 20
Henrietta Reiss (Court Stenographer)
Henrietta Reiss (Court Stenographer)
“We need to replace our 81-year-old president suffering from cognitive decline with a 78-year-old one suffering from cognitive decline.”
11 / 20
Eric Trump (Businessman)
Eric Trump (Businessman)
“He said if he won again, I’d finally get that hug.”
12 / 20
Tanner Delano (Car Sales)
Tanner Delano (Car Sales)
“I’m tired of actually doing things to improve the material conditions around me.”
13 / 20
Irvin Nolan (Massage Therapist)
Irvin Nolan (Massage Therapist)
“Washington needs an outsider like a wealthy former President to shake things up.”
14 / 20
Fred Sutton (Contractor)
Fred Sutton (Contractor)
“The prophecy will not be fulfilled if he doesn’t.”
15 / 20
Steve Eisman (Investor)
Steve Eisman (Investor)
“I’ve bet against the American economy before, and this guy’s basically guaranteed to make it crash.”
16 / 20
Lance Drake (Hedge Fund Manager)
Lance Drake (Hedge Fund Manager)
“Is national instability worth slightly lower taxes? I would say yes.”
17 / 20
Fred Caruso (Chiropractor)
Fred Caruso (Chiropractor)
“I look at Florida and think that’s what the entire country ought to be like.”
18 / 20
Drew Costa (Restaurant Owner)
Drew Costa (Restaurant Owner)

“He wants to be president, and why shouldn’t he get everything he wants?”
19 / 20
Alice Walton (Walmart Heiress)
Alice Walton (Walmart Heiress)
“He looks out for regular folks like me.”
20 / 20