Following the recent tragedy in which a Chinese ride called Space Journey malfunctioned and killed six people, many carnival rides are being more carefully inspected. Here are the reasons some of our favorites are being closed:
- Accidentally shaped like giant penis
- Wasn't bringing in the chumps like it used to
- A few cats living in the gears, so what?
- Contained too many racist depictions of the Chinese
- Exceeded regulatory limit on miscarriages per hundred rides
- Centripetal force exceeded tensile strength
- Only guy who knew how to set it up choked on hot dog
- Some kid barfed and the barf flew back and hit another kid in the face and he choked on it and died, so we heard