MISSOULA, MT—In a display presenting a rich, detailed portrait of their family histories and ancestral lineages, website GeneologyMe.com shows its users a chart of which dead people busted loads inside which other dead people, sources confirmed Thursday. “It turns out I hail from a long line of Irish people who, according to this chart, mostly busted their fat loads into other Irish people right up until 1852, when one of them blasted a nut into a Norwegian,” Elizabeth Vanderkirk, 28, said as she studied a family tree that revealed she was related to a lot of long-dead people who had dropped big, thick loads of cum across much of Europe. “Here’s a dead guy from a hundred years ago who appears to have nutted all over the place before succumbing to typhus in World War I. It’s so interesting that modern genetics can trace—in some cases all the way back to Africa!—the great many nutloads of dead people who made me who I am today.” At press time, Vanderkirk was reportedly disappointed after learning one of the dead men in her chart had busted a load into a slave he owned.
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