NEW YORK—Bemoaning the inconvenience the traffic accident victims had created for the landmark moment in history, sources confirmed Tuesday that an annoying bus crash had momentarily ruined the 8 billion human population milestone. “Oh for Christ’s sake, do these people care at all about how long humanity has been anticipating today?” said visibly deflated U.N. Secretary-General António Guterres, who told gathered throngs wearing party hats and lifting up “8 Billion Strong” signs to hold off on launching the party streamers. “We had it. We were right there. And then these 24 fucking idiots had to get themselves killed in a giant bus wreck. Do they not understand what it took to get our species to this point? Fuck. I’m sorry everyone. This is so frustrating. What a bunch of assholes.” At press time, a peeved Guterres had reportedly pulled down a large crank to stop the population counter so that it could be rewound back to 7,999,999,976 for several microseconds.