‘We Will Throw Them Away For You,’ Say Company Reps

CUPERTINO, CA—Saying the new policy was part of the company’s unwavering commitment to consumer relations, Apple announced Wednesday an unprecedented offer that will allow its customers to trade in their old iPhones and, in return, receive absolutely nothing. “If you’re a member of the Apple community with an older iPhone that no longer meets your needs, I’m pleased to inform you we will now throw that phone away for you,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook, explaining that customers need only bring their unwanted iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks to a participating Apple Store location to complete the exchange, and no proof of purchase will be necessary. “We’re committed to keeping our customers up-to-date with the latest products, so we want to make it easy for you to dispose of your old iPhone 6 or 7 and receive $0 credit toward the purchase of a new Apple product—even if you were on a contract. We’ll even take your fully functional, brand-new devices and throw them into a dumpster right then and there, no questions asked.” Cook went on to clarify that all trade-ins will be subject to a $50 disposal fee.

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