Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled Apple's new tablet computer, the iPad, during a presentation in San Francisco last week. Here are some of its features:
- Awkward name enables Twitter users to make the same joke over and over and over again
- Super slick design makes it impossible to hold, pick up, or stop from sliding down the street
- Softly whimpers if left alone for too long
- Maureen Dowd New York Times column generator
- Photo album of the Jobs family summer vacation in Aruba
- Free pair of black-rimmed glasses, turtleneck, and position at New York City architecture firm
- Can withstand breezes up to 3 mph
- To ensure that its users receive the constant public attention they crave, the iPad will emit the phrase "Hey, does that guy have an iPad?" every eight minutes