Apple Introduces Eggplant Emoji Covered In Sores

Man Breathes Sigh Of Relief As ‘Apple Recall’ Headline Just About Poisoned Fruit Shipped To 8 States

Tim Cook Torn Limb From Limb By Mob Of Moms Demanding To Know Whether iTunes Gift Cards Still Active

Apple Announces Plans To Sell Power Mac G4 For $120

Apple Fans Disappointed After Company Unveils Same Overpriced CEO That Barely Fucking Works

Apple Announces New Trade-In Offer For Customers To Exchange Their Old iPhones For Absolutely Nothing

Apple Becomes First American Company That Should Have Paid Trillion Dollars In Taxes

Police Repeatedly Shoot Tim Cook After Mistaking iPhone For Gun

Apple Recalls Thousands Of Earbuds That Unexpectedly Bloomed

Apple Unveils Single Colossal iPhone All Americans Can Use At Once