
JERUSALEM—In an astounding find that experts say offers a look at the intimate home life of Jesus of Nazareth, a team of archaeologists announced Wednesday they had uncovered the ancient Big Dog shirt that Christ wore to sleep in. “The discovery of this XL Big Dog shirt that Jesus Christ wore to bed confirms the theory that after a long day of sermons, He just wanted to come home and relax in a soft, familiar garment,” said Andrei Munteanu, lead archaeologist at the dig site in Jerusalem’s Beit Hanina neighborhood where excavators found the T-shirt, which features a dog wearing sunglasses along with the phrase “Who’s yer daddy?” “We’ve long believed such a discovery was possible, as it’s based on ancient biblical evidence indicating the apostle Philip gave Christ a T-shirt that he was planning to throw out. Previous theories had contended that Christ actually wore a ‘Tennis is life’ T-shirt when lounging around His home, but this artifact obviously proves that Renaissance-era notion incorrect. The shirt’s placement among other items that allegedly belonged to Christ also suggests that He wore His Big Dog shirt the night before His arrest by the Sanhedrin, making this a truly sacred garment that deserves to be enshrined in the Vatican.” Finds at the archaeological site are expected to stoke controversy, as Christ’s Big Dog shirt was discovered with a pair of Juicy Couture sweatpants believed to have belonged to Mary Magdalene.