A Vibrator

Hey, baby, I don’t want to ruin the mood right when things are starting to heat up, but is something wrong? It seems like maybe you’re not all that into it tonight. Don’t misunderstand me—I love to please you. That’s what I’m here for, you know that. But I guess what I’m wondering is, well, are you really just going to lie there the whole time?

I know you’ve had a long day and everything, but this is our time together, and it just feels like you’re expecting me to do all the work.

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I’m not asking for a wild fuck session or anything crazy, though I’d be totally up for that sometime. What I was really hoping was that you might do something—move your hips more, bite your lip, moan a little—to let me know you’re enjoying this. Because I’m grinding away all by myself here, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think maybe you were just using me.

I hate to say it, but this has been an issue for a while now. You used to want me all the time. We’d do it every day, sometimes more than once, but now it’s like you’re just going through the motions. Tonight, you came in here, turned me on, and got me going, but ever since you’ve just been lying there with that blank expression on your face. And I don’t know what you’re thinking about while I’m pleasuring you, but it’s definitely not me.

I’ve been all over you, making you wet, working your clit at different speeds, and what do I get back from you? Nothing. You think it’s sexy to see that glassy look in your eyes?

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I don’t know what’s been going on lately. When we first got together, there was all this passion and nervous excitement. You couldn’t wait to jump under the covers with me. We’d experiment with all sorts of different rhythms and motions. You’d move around trying to get the right angle. That was fun. But now we just do the one thing you know will get you off the fastest, and that’s it.

Do you remember that time you brought me to your parents’ house? My God, we went at it all night long. You were so afraid someone would hear us! And remember that time we did it in the kitchen? I know you liked it. It was incredible. These days, though, I’m just another part of your routine, something to be gotten out of the way. What happened to us?

I spend two minutes servicing your motionless body, then you roll over and I’m left lying here, completely ignored.

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Would it help if we tried something different to spice things up? Maybe another position? You could get on top or lie on your side. I’d even be up for trying to do it in the bath again, though I’m not sure how long I’d last. Still, I’d be willing to put in the effort if it made things exciting for you again.

Oh my God, are you on your phone?

Are you fucking kidding me? I’m putting all my energy into satisfying you, and you’re lying there like a goddamn zombie checking your email! Tell me the truth—do you want this to end? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? You’re just going to throw me away after everything I’ve done for you, you fucking bitch? Is that it?

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Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It just gets so frustrating when you don’t communicate with me. Let’s just try to forget it and start over.

Yeah, that’s it…Hold me. Right there, that’s good. Oh! Oh! Oh—goddammit! Shit, this is so embarrassing. You know this doesn’t usually happen to me. Christ, okay, just give me a few minutes to recharge my batteries, and I’ll help you finish.