DOVER, DE—Reminiscing about past online promotions for goods and services as he perused the internet Wednesday, area man Walter Delray, 32, reportedly grew nostalgic for a time when the advertisements targeting him were not quite so sad. “Back in the day, I used to get ads for vacation packages to Cancun or high-end digital cameras, but now when I go on Facebook, it seems like all the promoted posts in my news feed are for unscented cat litter,” said Delray, wistfully recalling the halcyon days of his youth before the promotions based on his demographic and behavioral traits were for CPA certification programs and bathroom sink accessories. “It would be kind of nice to see a few banner ads for Lollapalooza again. Frankly, it can be a little depressing when you go to a website and it’s covered in ads for 15 percent off wheel alignments.” At press time, Delray reportedly sighed while clicking mute on a video ad about debt consolidation.

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