Arizonans Explain Why They Are Voting For Kari Lake

“She’s not afraid to say what Fox News told her to say.”

“I do as the Skull commands.”

“I think she’s a fucking disgrace, but she’s all Arizona deserves.”

“Simple. Lake wins. KSAZ-TV needs a new anchor. I step up. I am beloved. The public reveres me. The news bends to my will. I purge the entire studio and assume control of all media operations. I am the news. I control all broadcasts, including the weather forecast. I am weatherman. I control the weather. I am the weather. Tides bend to my will. It thunders when I command thunder. I am become God. It’s foolproof.”

“She’ll uphold cruel abortion restrictions, which may increase my chances of becoming a grandmother.”

“It’s too hot in Arizona to think clearly.”

“The selection of mesh trucker hats in her campaign website shop is second to none.”

“As a weathercaster, she was staunchly anti-humidity.”

“I didn’t like the sandwich I ate earlier, and now I’m going to take it out on the good people of Arizona.”

“I’d like to make my voice heard on the off chance the election isn’t already rigged.”

“I like how assertive she is, which is not how any other woman should be allowed to act.”

“As someone who has also been asked to leave a town hall event, I find her the most relatable candidate.”

“I love how much like Trump she is, like the feet they both have, the talking they do when they want words to be heard, and all that air they’re always breathing.”

“Her dual education plan will allow kids the choice of attending either a technical school or a traditional public school to experience a mass shooting.”

“If she can convince me that the 2020 election was stolen, she can convince me of anything.”

“It’s about time someone from Illinois stepped in to protect Arizona’s great Western heritage.”

“She’s switched political affiliations so many times there’s a good chance she’ll eventually come around to socialism.”

“Elections are rigged in this country, and that’s why she has my vote.”