
YORBA LINDA, CA—Asking the members of the wealthy local citizenry to put a brief pause on their construction projects, Orange County authorities reportedly urged residents Thursday to stop building additions onto homes that are currently on fire. “We understand that a breezeway or infinity pool is your top priority at the moment, but we humbly ask residents to just delay any inessential home improvement projects until firefighters have extinguished the wildfires currently blazing through your estates,” said Orange County fire marshal Lori Smith, adding that it was making firefighters’ jobs more difficult when they were competing for room with construction workers erecting a sauna. “The nature of the fast-moving Silverado and Blue Ridge wildfires means that more than likely, that fourth floor you’re adding might end up getting destroyed by a blaze, and you’d just have to start over. We recommend waiting until the fires have at least subsided into smoldering embers before continuing construction on the sunroom or fitness center, and we pledge to let you know as soon as your guest wing project can resume. In the meantime, if you must continue building a patio or gazebo, we recommend stone materials, as these will work best in the face of the flames currently moving through your properties.” Orange County officials added that they had already secured millions of dollars in emergency funding from California to allow local residents to build their third dream homes after the fire was extinguished.