COLUMBIA, SC—Saying he didn’t even know she liked that kind of stuff, local man Jonas Hough returned home from a romantic four-course meal for two Wednesday to find his girlfriend angry. “Oh my God, babe, if I knew you enjoyed hearing a string quartet play our song on a garden patio under the stars, I totally would have asked you to come,” said Hough, adding that he thought his girlfriend hated dressing up and eating gourmet cuisine by candlelight, which was his reasoning for taking his buddy instead. “Honestly, I could have sworn you were, like, allergic to chocolate-covered strawberries or something, so I decided that tonight would just be for the boys. Plus, aren’t you pretty anti-romantic-ambience, or am I confusing that with something else?” At press time, Hough promised to make it up to his girlfriend by taking her out to a friend’s house so she could watch them play video games.