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Bad News Gamers: Kirby Has Been Expelled From The Garden Of Eden After Inhaling Fruit From The Tree Of Knowledge

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Image for article titled Bad News Gamers: Kirby Has Been Expelled From The Garden Of Eden After Inhaling Fruit From The Tree Of Knowledge

Ugh, we’ve got some tough news to share with you today, gamers. It looks like Kirby has been kicked out of the Garden of Eden after inhaling a fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. We hate to see such an unfortunate turn of events since Kirby could have been frolicking in paradise forever if he’d only obeyed the word of God. Bummer!

This is a major drag for everyone’s favorite pink alien hero, because now that he’s sucked up the prohibited item, he’s out of the glorious garden where all of God’s creatures live in harmony, banished into the wasteland to survive off the sweat of his brow.

The Creator Of The Universe reportedly learned that Kirby had inhaled the forbidden fruit after the cuddly video game character realized he was naked and fashioned himself a crude outfit made of leaves and twigs. And while it’s been confirmed that Kirby was tempted into sin by the wicked King Dedede, who offered him the fruit in the first place, God isn’t letting Kirby off the hook since he still knowingly defied the Lord’s word.

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Adding insult to injury, God has commanded that part of Kirby’s punishment will be experiencing unendurable pain every time he swallows and transforms into an enemy. Yikes!

Here’s hoping that eventually there will be a Kirby messiah that will take all of Kirby’s original sin onto his shoulders and reestablish his people’s sacred covenant with God, but until then, looks like the little dude is doomed to toil amongst sickness and death for the rest of his days.