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America's Finest News Source.

Banned Olympic Runner Claims Burrito Caused Positive Steroid Test

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U.S. Olympic runner Shelby Houlihan has been given a four-year ban from the sport after the Athletics Integrity Unit rejected her claim that a contaminated pork burrito she ate caused her positive steroid test. What do you think?

“Burritos are the cause of a lot of my problems too.”

Beatrix Minardi • Bus Custodian

“It could have also been the steroids I gave her.”

Jeffrey Overholt • Road Trip Counselor

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“I don’t buy it. I saw no distinct outline of a burrito protruding from her drum-tight runner’s abdomen.”

Horace Delph • Unemployed